[00:00] Valerie Beck: Rise, Renew. Reconnect. Welcome to from the Ashes, a podcast where every story ignites hope and healing.
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to from the Ashes. I am your host, Valerie Beck, and today I have a very special guest, my friend Lynn.
[00:30] Back of no relation, but still an amazing, awesome person. Lynn and I met in a growth group we're in, and she has been actually coach to me. She's been a mentor.
[00:42] She's also been a senpai. We know what senpai means, right? And she's just been a really great fountain of energy. She's been also a leader in keeping things organized, strategy.
[00:54] And so I'm really excited to bring her on today so that we can bump both share our own experiences with personal growth and strategy. So welcome to the show, Lynn.
[01:05] Lynn Beck: Thank you, Valerie. I'm really happy to be here. Yay.
[01:09] Valerie Beck: All right, so Lynn is awesome, because when I met Lynn, I could already tell she's one. She's down for it. She's down for the adventure. And not only that, she comes from a background where she's been very used to structure and used to kind of like playing it by the rules.
[01:26] But all of a sudden, as she's growing, I found she's been actually really good at pushing her own boundaries. So, Lynn, I want to first start off asking you what started your personal growth journey and what ignited that kind of curiosity in you to keep going?
[01:45] Lynn Beck: Yeah, that's a really good question. I would say in more recent times, for this personal growth journey, where it's been intrinsic has really been in 2020. So for me, the pandemic was a very good thing.
[02:01] I had to slow down and work slowed down for me because before that, I was looking to climb the corporate ladder. So by background, I have a degree in chemical engineering.
[02:14] And so when you're an engineer, you have these different paths that are prescribed.
[02:18] So you follow that path, you do it. And so in 2020, I had a chance to then really do some work with, you know, improving my health and my body.
[02:32] And also I had started doing some yoga back in 2015, and I'm not necessarily like what you would call a stereotypical yoga person because of where I'm coming from, but over time, that slowly started to awaken myself to then say, like, oh, I don't have to do this.
[02:55] I don't have to be in this role or focus on my career for the next 20 or 30 years, I can do things for myself. And so then that's when I realized I really had the power to change how I see things and see myself.
[03:13] So, yeah, it's really. It's hard to really say other than it was really the pandemic that did it, and it was just more that awareness.
[03:22] Valerie Beck: So let me dig a little bit deeper. We have our coach, Kate Stillman, and she talks a lot about fractals. And so we've been exploring this a little bit together, too.
[03:32] But it's the idea that we kind of have these patterns, cyclical patterns of growth as we move on in life. And so, like, we make these.
[03:41] We make these decision decisions or choices. At one certain point, that comes somewhat of a turning point that expands into a period of growth, and then we make a similar decision again.
[03:55] We do kind of the same. We progress along our trajectory.
[04:00] So my question is for you, and I hope I described that correctly. If not, please describe more. But, you know, you mentioned in. It was back in 2015, I think.
[04:12] Right. Was that a time where you did make a decision? Like, what did you see in your fractals there?
[04:18] Lynn Beck: Yeah. So that was a big life decision, because that's when I had my son.
[04:23] So a lot of times when we have these big decision points, it's a big life change. Right. Whether we move somewhere, we have a baby, there's a death. And so when we look at it that way, that change.
[04:38] Yeah, I guess I would say what it did stem from becoming a mom. I have this new role. My life is now another life is relying on me and my decisions.
[04:48] And so it's trying to be healthier. But what I would say is from becoming a parent and then having that time to slow down and really focus on me during this work transition of how things were, I was able to start to notice the themes that you're referencing.
[05:11] So in the past, like, where was I doing that thing before? And where am I making this decision again and having it be more of an elevated or refined decision?
[05:23] And so one example is leading people. And before, I always had in my mind, like, people who are leaders, they have, like, suits. They work at companies. They're not like an everyday person.
[05:37] But what I came to realize, I've been actually a leader throughout my journey in life. And so more recently, I lead a team of people at work. But then before that, I would do volunteer work and we would clear the trails in northern Minnesota.
[05:55] And before that, I was creating, like, trip plans, like, more for fun Because I wanted to go on trips that were like hiking trips with friends. And so I was leading them there.
[06:07] And it's just been really fascinating to see how some of these common themes come about. And I hope I'm answering your question. But like that's like an example of like what this awareness is.
[06:21] It's like the work in all the myself has always been there, but now really in the last year or two, it's becoming more clear on who I am.
[06:34] Valerie Beck: Okay, great.
[06:36] I'm going to share a little bit of my story as well as some insight about the other side of the growth, which is the depth. And so the depth tends to be a little bit uglier.
[06:49] Right. We do see ourselves making these choices that lead to positive outcomes later on. But oftentimes there are, there's the shadow side of things where we also have limiting beliefs and patterns.
[07:01] So those also snowball and grow throughout time if we're not cognizant of it. So I will give you my example and then I'll let you go from there.
[07:12] I have dealt with various forms of not feeling accepted, not feeling like I fit in or not feeling worthy, et cetera. So self esteem issues for the better part of my life and you know, that can stem from so many different things.
[07:27] But one of the biggest ones probably was that I grew up where I was very much a minority and then I had to be singled out to like go to, you know, English for second language classes and then all of that.
[07:39] There's a lot that else that goes into it. But oftentimes I just felt like I had to really, I had to be stellar in order to fit in or even to be accepted.
[07:50] Right. And so throughout time I would work really hard and that would get me somewhere, it would help me achieve. But at the same time, whenever there was any evidence of me not fitting in or not like being worthy, it just destroyed my sense of myself.
[08:09] Right. Like it just, I felt like I was on the bottom again. And when there's a negative feedback loop, is that negative feedback loop. But it's just like a. When there's negative feedback like that, it gets really tiring on the soul.
[08:24] And what I see in the fractal concept is that there does need to be some kind at some point, a beginning of a self awareness that allows us to work through these patterns so that they aren't holding us back our entire lives.
[08:39] Because our strengths are also our weaknesses. Right. What have you seen in your own ways of being that has been both a strength and the Weakness.
[08:48] Lynn Beck: Let me come back to that. I. Because what I want to do is comment on how I feel like I can relate to you about not fitting in.
[08:55] Valerie Beck: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[08:56] Lynn Beck: Because I felt like I was always the weird one. But, you know, hey, maybe it was because I was a spelling bee champion, you know, in school. And I bring. This is this past weekend, I was going through the.
[09:09] My old papers from when I was in first through eighth grade. And I saw a lot of, like, recognition and certificates and a lot of the things I forgot about.
[09:20] And so.
[09:22] And then the other thing that I've been doing is watching home videos to see, you know, what I was like when I was in high school. And so where I'm going with this is, you know, in eighth grade in high school.
[09:36] And then even when I was out on my first, like, career, there were a lot of times I didn't feel like I was fitting in. And it's very fascinating because it can be a toll on the mindset too.
[09:47] Like, what's going on? Like, I'm not good enough or like, why am I not fitting in here? And when I look back, it's interesting that there's also been usually a change where, like, I get deterred and like, go somewhere else.
[09:59] And so for me, that was moving. And so I was in this city that was more like a suburb. Everyone knew each other and I wasn't feeling like I was fitting in.
[10:09] And so then that took me to Japan.
[10:11] It's like, all right, I'm gonna go here.
[10:15] So I lived there and worked there for a year. And so that forced me to be more myself and be okay with it. And it's like there's these times where things expire and so we end up attracting.
[10:33] So this then goes to that fractal part, attracting people that are more along our lines. And it just takes time. And so for me, I would say one of my strengths is persistence.
[10:47] And so it's like, persistence can be good because there's that follow through. But it's not good when you're like, well, you said you wanted to go out this weekend, or what are we doing?
[10:58] Right? So like when friends are in a group setting, it doesn't really help because when you're not feeling included, then when you do that follow sphere, they, you know, it might just seem like you're clingy at that point.
[11:12] But then also the other strengths that do become, like weaknesses is are we able to notice what, I guess what's really going on in like, what we really want to do?
[11:28] Cause at the heart of all of it, even though I didn't feel like I fit in, there was some element, and this is where I would maybe come off as bratty.
[11:37] And it was mostly noticeable in Japan that got tempered because I wanted things a certain way and I wasn't getting it. And that's where this whole passion comes into play for things.
[11:51] And so it's like, when I have an idea, watch out, because, like, it's like super strong and like. And then, like, everything falls into place. But when you're in an environment that's not supportive of that, it's.
[12:05] It's really uncomfortable. And then there's these perceptions that come up that make. Made me feel more excluded because I wasn't conforming.
[12:16] Valerie Beck: Yeah.
[12:17] Lynn Beck: Yeah.
[12:18] Valerie Beck: So as someone who's lived in Japan, I understand where you're coming from.
[12:22] I even had a point during my time in Japan where I actually burst out in tears in front of a meeting because one of the teachers was saying. And he.
[12:34] I don't think even think he knew that I. I understood, but he was basically saying, like, why does Valerie need to have her own way of teaching? Why can't she just do it?
[12:43] Like, blah, blah, blah, Sensei.
[12:45] And, you know, so, like, just saying that it. It just really devalued my own work, my own efforts, and, like, my own creativity. And I. It wasn't even like this thing where I was, like, really offended.
[13:01] Just like, really hit me at the core, right. Of, like, why. Why am I less lesser than.
[13:08] Yeah.
[13:10] I have no idea where I'm going with that, except to say, like, that is something that I feel very deeply.
[13:17] Lynn Beck: Yeah. There's times where we end up feeling devalued when we are being ourselves. So I don't know. I shouldn't call it a fun Japan example, but it was hot. Like, they wouldn't turn the air conditioning until it got to, like, 84 degrees.
[13:32] And so this is in the summertime. So I bought a fan. What am I supposed to do? I want a fan. I'm going to get cool. That was so super frowned upon.
[13:41] And like, for me, if it would been in more of a setting where I could understand all, like, the language because of how I was working, people were speaking English to me.
[13:54] And so I was learning Japanese by immersion. So I didn't. I didn't understand everything, but I could see body language and I could hear tone. Right. And how people were speaking.
[14:05] And so also. Right. Noticing the audience there, they. No one else had a fan, and they're just kind of looking at me like, what are you doing?
[14:15] You know? And so, in a way, I would say that language barrier helped me because it didn't.
[14:23] I couldn't really understand, like, how bad that was to go against that whole consensus and, like, what's good for the community.
[14:32] And so it's funny, like, this is coming up now because I've always really wondered, why was I having that experience? And I think it was to really ground into myself, because if you're around other people who you're similar to, it's really easy to get caught up in culture.
[14:52] Valerie Beck: Absolutely.
[14:53] Lynn Beck: Yeah.
[14:55] Valerie Beck: You know, Japan was really interesting because it allowed me to being myself in a way. Like, I could feel like I had my own space, but at the same time, it triggered some of the.
[15:06] My deepest insecurities.
[15:08] And I often look back on that, trying to find what are the lessons that are meant to be learned when it comes to something like personal growth and really finding yourself.
[15:20] Right. Finding your voice and all of that? Because that's very celebrated here in the United States, but it's not necessarily celebrated in a culture that's collective. But is there something that is more universally human that we can learn about here in terms of how to find the balance and really be grounded in who we are?
[15:41] Lynn Beck: I think that's the question of the hour.
[15:47] How can we be ourselves and just be true to who we are and trust in the process, too, that people will accept us? Because that's also the human nature, too.
[15:59] We want to be accepted and want.
[16:02] Valerie Beck: Yeah. And sometimes there will be more resistance than other times.
[16:09] And so are we meant to. Are we meant to come up against the resistance or fall back from it? Oh, so.
[16:21] And I don't think there's a solid answer. I don't think it's yes or no. I think it's a dance.
[16:26] Lynn Beck: Yeah. Experimenting. Right. And seeing what happens. Because that's.
[16:30] So this awareness that I've had in the more recent years is I've been able to observe life more as, like, movie, which is also very fascinating, too, rather than just reacting, because I would say my old self was more in the reactive mode, too.
[16:47] Valerie Beck: Oh, yeah? Yeah.
[16:49] Lynn Beck: There's no. There's no chance to grow if you're in reactive mode.
[16:53] Valerie Beck: Yeah. All the time. No, because you're always going to. You'll always have, you know, an opinion or you're always going to be fighting against something or whatnot.
[17:02] So because we're talking about personal growth, I want to give everyone the picture of your gains. Right. So there's another concept that we talk about a lot. And that's the, the distinction between gap and gain.
[17:18] But then the gain part being we are looking at how far we've come.
[17:22] What would you say looking back at your entire growth journey has been the most dramatic gain?
[17:29] Lynn Beck: Yeah, the most dramatic gain.
[17:34] This is a good question because I think it's deeper than just at the material level of things.
[17:44] And I would say that the gain has been.
[17:49] Is really that intuit being more intuitive and being connected to what feels right rather than going off of the list. So that was. And that's really been this year.
[18:04] So everything else has been more on the surface level of things in terms of like. Right.
[18:15] Things we learn about like having circadian rhythm or having good food habits. But like there's this emotional work and inner work that you can't see with people.
[18:29] And so for me, I'm really scratching the surface of that where I've been able to like be more present in the moment and also slow things down enough to where I can sense like, okay, what is it that I want to do?
[18:46] And that's actually opened up to now where there are times where I can just really. I just know what I need to do and I don't have to think about it.
[18:55] Which is totally the opposite of. I would say me 10 years ago because it was all about.
[19:02] So I am all about goals and writing things down. But before it was really just on paper where now it's more, it's. It's more all integrated.
[19:13] It's. That's hard to say because it feels a little woo woo, but.
[19:21] But it. I don't know. Yeah, that's the biggest gain is feeling more integrated.
[19:26] Valerie Beck: I love that. And I, I will back it up because even though it may sound a little more out there just because it is abstract, it is where I feel like that's where you arrive because you get start to get start to gain a sense of ease.
[19:45] Ease about decisions, ease about being and all of it that is very hard to describe when people haven't felt it before.
[19:54] Right. Because we can have all these other gains. And I've seen your pictures of how you lost weight. I've seen like, you know, you've like climbed in your career and all of that.
[20:03] And those are awesome. Right? Those are the, the initial wins that you had that a lot of people even. That would be so amazing for a lot of people. But then just once you, once you've done one thing and then you do more and then you like unlock more parts of yourself, you get A sense of empowerment that is, it's priceless.
[20:23] Right. And then it, it allows you to be in that space of clarity where life doesn't feel so much of a struggle anymore. So is that what you're gonna.
[20:35] Lynn Beck: I love that you picked up on the ease element. Yeah, that's a lot easier to say ease. I have more ease in my life. But it is true because, like, I'm even finding in my daily life, like, even if I'm rushing off to do drop off, you know, for school in the morning, like, I don't feel hurried.
[20:51] But I'm also not over scheduled too. It's like, I'm able to manage, like, okay, what is it that I need to do?
[20:58] What has to be done if I don't do something, fine. You know, like, it's that being able to decide, like, nah. And this goes to that 80, 20%, 80%, 20% conversation of like, all right, what's going to move the needle for me today?
[21:15] And if I don't do something, it's probably okay, you know, I don't run that one errand today. I can do that tomorrow and do something else, you know. Yeah. Rearrange my schedule.
[21:28] Valerie Beck: Okay, cool. So I actually do have two questions that are going to take us to a different direction, so I'll let you choose.
[21:35] So the first question is because I know that this, in terms of, like, what you've been doing in recent years, it did start with a, a wellness journey, and it did start with more of the weight loss and the yoga and all of that.
[21:49] And my general question towards that is like, why does transformation start with wellness?
[21:54] And I'm assuming, like, you know, but I'm, I'm making a statement with that, but why would it start with wellness? And what did that open up for you? The second question or topic that I want to go into is the 80, 20 and what that has done for you in your life and all that.
[22:10] So I'll let you choose.
[22:11] Lynn Beck: Well, I kind of want to do both so we can split it up. So I think it'll be easier to answer the transformation starting with wellness, because there's an efficiency and effectiveness that comes with it.
[22:24] And this is the engineer in me speaking here.
[22:29] And I say that because no one knows me here. You know, growing up, I was cross country and track athlete in high school. I went to state. I ran in college for a season, and then I ran a marathon when I was like 26.
[22:46] And so it's not that I've been never been athletic. Right. And so Then like, this is why also this whole wellness journey is such a big deal. Oh, and then like I did like kickboxing, learning that and softball.
[23:02] So I've done all these activities and also in community, but they weren't getting me to where I was going. And strangely, when I got pregnant, I'm like, I should go to a yoga studio.
[23:15] I'm pregnant. You know, like, there's like something in culture that got me to think that. Right. And that's again that engineer mindset, or that's what I believe to be my engineer mindset of like how I think.
[23:26] And if you're not well, you can't think clearly. And I was thinking totally different in 2014 before I started down this path than I do now. And it was clouded by external input as opposed to my intrinsic or internal input of what needs to be done.
[23:50] And so I would say that's, that's why it needs, you need to be well or your transformation path starts with that wellness. Because if, yeah, because it's like your body's the machine, like it needs to work.
[24:05] Valerie Beck: Yeah, absolutely. I, I, I agree 100% with that. And it's something that I, you know, as an Ayurvedic practitioner, it is fairly intuitive for me because of the word for health in Sanskrit is svastha.
[24:18] Lynn Beck: Right.
[24:18] Valerie Beck: So it's being settled in the self.
[24:21] So literally if you being healthy means having that knowing who you are and that self esteem.
[24:28] And it's, it's really astounding actually because that a lot of us walk around with low self esteem and just like not knowing, like just trying to grasp at straws of like what we should do and all that.
[24:40] We're constantly relying on other people's input to determine the trajectory of our lives. And here's Ayurveda saying, you really need to be grounded in yourself and who you are, otherwise you really can't progress.
[24:53] So it is very much like we have to be well, we have to take care of ourselves in order for us to do anything in life. If you want to go beyond just the basic survival.
[25:03] Lynn Beck: Yeah. And it's like totally the opposite of like how that whole marathon thing came about is because I was actually lonely. Like people were like, quote unquote, too busy for me.
[25:11] Like, and I felt isolated. And so a way to feel good about myself is like, all right, I should just run a marathon. And so I did that and I trained and ran.
[25:21] And what's so sad, I wish I don't really have a desire to run a marathon. Like I have nothing to prove to myself, but like, I ate so terribly. I ate fast food, pasta back then and all this other stuff.
[25:34] And it's like why I could have been such a faster runner.
[25:38] I did finish under four and a half hours, so it wasn't bad.
[25:41] But it's still the idea of because you work out doesn't necessarily mean you are.
[25:47] Valerie Beck: Well.
[25:47] Lynn Beck: Right. It's that wellness is, is your whole self and that transformation takes your whole self. It doesn't like, pick and choose.
[25:57] Valerie Beck: Yeah. I actually have a really good example of that from myself too, because I. At some point, and I've done this actually for extended period of time, which is very unhealthy.
[26:06] I would push myself past my physical limits for a lot of. For many years as a dancer, I did that as well. And then. And like pushing late nights and all that.
[26:16] And then when I got into martial arts and yoga, I even went too far there. Like, I would practice yoga like six times a week for a couple hours a day and then do martial arts class.
[26:26] And I, I didn't realize, like, the pattern that was. And this goes back to the fractal, the, the depth work is that belief that like, I have to, like, have to earn my, my stars.
[26:39] Right. In order to. To fit. Fit in, to be accepted, to be part of the group. I can't just like, sit here and be mediocre, whatever it was.
[26:48] But it wasn't a good way to excel. Even though I got far right. Like finish the quote unquote marathon, but then, like, lost myself in the process.
[26:57] Lynn Beck: Yeah, exactly. And the sad thing is, is we're the only ones actually looking at those results.
[27:05] Valerie Beck: Yeah.
[27:06] Lynn Beck: At the end of the day.
[27:08] Valerie Beck: Yeah. Yeah. Right. No one, no one is going to pay attention to you more than you.
[27:15] And that's actually not a bad thing I've learned.
[27:18] Yeah. All right. 80, 20.
[27:21] Okay. So Pareto's Law. 80 20, the original Pareto's Law, is talking about how 80. Sorry, 20% of your effort drives 80% of your results.
[27:33] And since then, we've actually discussed this concept in many different ways. I love the book 10x is easier than 2x. I love how they use Pareto's Law in there. So I want to ask you how Pareto's Law has affected your way of thinking and like how that's, you know, manifested in your life.
[27:52] Lynn Beck: Yeah. It's been more or less for me noticing what I've done before in the past, and then that's what I know I'm going to take with me. In the future. So what how I think about this is, is like, I have some luggage.
[28:04] Let's say I have a piece of luggage that's, I don't know, it's like eight. I don't know. I don't know. It's like I just want to use like two pieces of luggage, right?
[28:14] There's one that is the 80% of my stuff. And then I have this little carry on that's 20% of my stuff. And so what I need to know, what I've wanted to know recently is like, what's going in that carry on?
[28:24] That's 20%. Because I actually can't bring that big, big luggage and check it.
[28:30] And so for me, and this is for me, talking about moving forward, more or less, but as we've learned, right, you can't go forward without looking back. And so what I found is a double check on, like, what is the essence of me is I'm seeing if I've had similar examples in the past.
[28:51] So one strange example that I've had that I'm now going to look for more signals or opportunities to come up is some not an advertising or marketing designer by trade, right?
[29:07] So in college, I worked at the school paper and I did the ads that went into the paper, like when the flower shop had like a sale or hardware store or something.
[29:17] And so you put that together. And there's been also some other instances where I've put together like brochures. And this past weekend I found my brochure for, for anyone who wanted to go to Jamestown.
[29:32] Like, this is like a project I did in like fifth grade or sixth grade. So I'm always putting together content and packaging it in a way that looks good, but it's not necessarily my core.
[29:43] But there's something in the work that I do that I use that skill to take it and make it my own. So, so, for example, with my current work, you know, what I'm doing is adding in some of those fine details that would make it more appealing or helpful for people to learn what it is that they need to learn to do their job, just as an example.
[30:11] And so in a long way, what that is is for me, it's seeing those experiences and what keeps coming on the repeat, whether it's good or bad. And, and if it's on the good, then I tend to look at that and say, like, what is it that I need to do to hone in on that more and make it my own?
[30:38] Because, right, we're just, we're going through these scenarios.
[30:43] And now I'm just starting to notice, like, oh, this is what's gonna happen next in the movie.
[30:51] Because I'm starting to able to predict what the storyline looks like.
[30:56] So that's. So that's where I'm at with that in a general sense. But what I'm looking at 80, 20 is like career and then really personal life and then also family life.
[31:10] Those are really the more three of my facets that I'm looking at.
[31:15] Valerie Beck: Okay, I will build on that a little bit too. So one of my favorite 8020 activities is one that we have done in Kate's workshop where we look at where we want to be going and then we take stock of everything that we're doing in relation to that goal and then sort them out into 80% what we need to let go and 20% of what we want to carry forward to the next level of self and then filling in the new 80% of new things that we need to be doing in order for us to really get there.
[31:46] So big question for you is where do you want to be going in 2025 and what do you see as some things that you need to let go of in order to.
[31:58] For you to make room for that new transition?
[32:02] Lynn Beck: Yeah, and I would say that this tends to be more my career aspect of my lens. And so, so my. In my work area of work, I do audits, and so I visit coworkers, see how they're doing, and we see how they're meeting the different requirements.
[32:19] And so a lot of the work that I'm doing is at that detailed level. What I would like to do is step more away and actually be more from a coaching or expertise and starting to train people and build them and help them out and guide them.
[32:35] And so for me, it's a way to figure out what do I need to put in place. And I think a lot of it has to do with technology and how can I be smarter with the different platforms that are available and taking that time to use that and also work with people?
[32:54] Because the other thing that I'm not doing right now is really getting to know people like I should. Right. And so it's like expanding my network. And so I believe that there's a couple key people out there that can really help me in my role.
[33:07] And we'll see where that goes. And also the other thing that takes a lot of time, and I learned that in the last month was about data reporting too. And I think there's.
[33:20] And this is also a Dan Sullivan and Ben Hardy book who not how. Like, I think there's really someone out there that can help me. I just need to voice it because that's the other thing that I've learned in this personal growth is being able to say, what is it that I'm good at?
[33:37] What do I enjoy doing and what do I not enjoy doing? And being okay to say that I don't enjoy doing it. It's not that I'm not a hard worker.
[33:45] I can do it, but I really think there are people that are quicker at it than me to go and enter the data. Or maybe there's a faster way to enter that data.
[33:55] Yeah. And then for like family life right now in 2024, the project, and I was going through my photos, creating my Christmas card. A lot of photos that I had to sort through were pictures of things I posted in our local Buy Nothing group.
[34:10] And I got rid of a lot of things this year that we've collected over time. And so by creating that space in our house, we'll be able to, I don't want to say do more with it, but it's.
[34:23] We can figure out a way to, I don't know, just not have as much randomness. Like, yeah, maybe memory totes from, you know, when I was younger or just more purposeful.
[34:37] Right. The rooms be. Be more useful that way.
[34:41] Valerie Beck: Yeah. And I. That reminds me of, like, the Konmari stuff is like being intentional with your environment and creating the environment that supports what you want to create.
[34:50] Lynn Beck: And the environment is so subtle. Such a. It makes such a difference. Like, it doesn't seem like it, but this is like when I go home to my family home, it really hasn't changed.
[35:02] And so that's the fun thing about showing my son. Like, yeah, this is what it looked like when I was growing up, which is not bad. Right. It's fun for reminiscing and stuff, but it doesn't support the person that.
[35:13] That I am today.
[35:14] Valerie Beck: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
[35:17] All right.
[35:19] Ah, okay.
[35:21] So you mentioned who, not how.
[35:24] And this is actually something I've been trying to drive home recently in a lot of my messaging and with a lot of my coaching is that you can't grow alone.
[35:35] And I. I can't emphasize this, like, more strongly enough because I see so many people trying to be. Be great by themselves.
[35:48] And one, you can't be a leader if you don't have anyone following you. Right. But also, we as humans are very much. We're. We're tribal beings and we do depend on each other for feedback and for everything.
[36:03] And so growth can't happen in this bubble.
[36:07] Was this something that you had to learn? And if so, like, when and how did you learn it?
[36:12] Lynn Beck: That I can't do it all myself? Yeah, that was all going up until 2020, so. But more formally, it was in.
[36:24] I think I read the book in or listened to the book in 2023. The WHO outlook.
[36:30] Well, that's also something that people say too, right? Like, you always hear it like, oh, you need a team or you need people to help you. At least that's what I've also heard.
[36:40] But I felt like I needed to do everything myself and being able to ask for that help was hard. So I guess, you know, I really didn't learn it until last year that really it does help to have a team and to be able to have that trust in people to do that and to make it possible.
[37:01] Because I will say from 2016 to 2020, I was working so much to the point that, like, there was one day, like, my heart, it was like just fluttering. I'm like, what's going on?
[37:14] And I don't know what it was still today, but, you know, there's something there that. And I was also staying up late and working way longer than I should have.
[37:25] So I was really on that path to burnout.
[37:28] And so now I'm starting to learn.
[37:31] Yeah. And yeah, it was 2023, because that's when I was really getting into Kate Stillman's coaching program.
[37:39] Valerie Beck: Oh.
[37:39] Lynn Beck: Because she gave an example about an egg and, like, being able to ask for help. Because I'll never forget, it was, yeah, February 2023, and I was stressing out about, like, how am I going to get all this work done?
[37:54] And really what it comes down to is being able to ask. And. And the example was about asking your neighbor if you can have an egg or if they have an egg to give you, and they will.
[38:05] And I don't say it so eloquently, but, like, it's just that visual has helped me and I've also played that out too. So now at work, I'm able to get.
[38:15] Feel better in my role about asking for help, because now I've put a survey in place is say here, this is what needs to be done this year. Where can.
[38:26] Where can I count on you to help out with this? And so I've been able to really just more practice this more recently, and I'm hoping to refine it. And so that's where I want to go in 2025 is being much better at asking for help.
[38:41] Valerie Beck: Oh, me too.
[38:43] Lynn Beck: Because people are really good too. And so then it's like, okay, how do we find time then to properly recognized people in a timely fashion too? Because that's the other part that I'm not as good as I would like to be.
[38:57] Valerie Beck: Yeah, yeah.
[38:59] So there are a few interesting things that you touched upon with this whole not doing it alone thing.
[39:07] And it, it brought to mind something that I heard the other day. And this was about someone who wanted to start a business, but I think he was saying like money's not the object or whatever.
[39:18] And the, the feedback I heard about that was like, you know, there's always a value exchange and being able to receive, whether it's money, time, health, et cetera, et cetera, all of these are forms of abundance.
[39:30] So when you're unwilling to receive money, time, help, resources, whatever it might be, you're cutting off a source of your abundance that you would otherwise be able to have as resources.
[39:43] Energy that you would be able to put out into the world again.
[39:48] But a lot of the time we see it as like selfless and good for us to like cut off those arms of abundance. So I think that's something for everyone to honestly think about is like where, where do you see yourself cutting off your own abundance?
[40:02] Because that is oftentimes the, the area that you need to really open up a little bit more.
[40:08] Lynn Beck: I wonder if then that's how that scarcity mindset self fulfills itself.
[40:14] Because people say like, oh, I don't have enough time. But I'm not asking people because I feel like I need to achieve something or in terms of maybe some other resource or money and it then becomes this self fulfilling prophecy.
[40:31] I think that's. And then it makes it harder because you can't do it all yourself.
[40:35] Valerie Beck: Yeah, yeah, you are, it is actually like you're not, you're probably not conscious of it, but it is like you are, you're strangling yourself in a way. Yeah, I know. I've been strangling myself for my entire life, so I know how that feels.
[40:52] Okay, what else have we not touched upon that we wanted to touch upon?
[40:58] Lynn Beck: The other part that I think would be interesting to talk about is where we talk about that 8020 principle and when by not taking the large checked luggage with you, is having that limited resource of what you have.
[41:16] But it's like the good stuff, it's like the cream of the crop. Like you filtered it to the point where this is good and it's super reliable. And you will have this feeling of enoughness with it.
[41:29] But then also, you'll be able to also what they say, Dan Sullivan and Ben hardy saying their 10x is easier than 2x 2x, I believe, then you can really achieve more than what you think you could have.
[41:45] So right now I have a plan for work in 2025 of what I need to get done. But really my challenge is how can I 10x that? Which then what that means to me is how can.
[41:56] My ultimate goal is living this life of leisure and I make it fun and I say life of leisure.
[42:03] Buy a lake.
[42:04] You know, right now, I don't necessarily have that. The lake part, but I don't know if that's important either.
[42:11] Valerie Beck: Right.
[42:11] Lynn Beck: Because, like, if I can evoke this feeling of what I want to feel in the future, then I know I've reached my destination for that moment.
[42:22] But this, it's. It's allowing also that 20% is allowing you to think differently too, because it's not going to be the same path that you've done the previous times that you've gone through.
[42:34] You're changing the script of the movie.
[42:37] Valerie Beck: Yeah.
[42:38] It's so funny. Cause I. I literally have to pack a suitcase tonight to go to Japan. So I'm thinking about it literally, but I'm also thinking figuratively of how I am going to make it lean.
[42:50] What can I. What is going to be the most important things that I bring forward?
[42:55] Yeah. And just thinking about what is baggage? Like, just excess baggage.
[43:00] What is the stuff we like, we're always like, oh, yeah, this is my security blanket. And it feels good to have it, but I don't actually end up using it.
[43:08] Lynn Beck: And that's, in a way, one of those things. If we think about it in our personality, like, we think that we're known for something, but people actually see us in a different light.
[43:18] And what they're seeing us in is that 20%, but they're not seeing like the other. Excess baggage.
[43:26] Valerie Beck: Yeah. What would be an example of that in your own narrative?
[43:30] Lynn Beck: Mine would be. I don't want to say ridiculous, because that sounds like a negative, but we could go with meticulous. That's fine. But this meticulous attention to detail and like, seeing what the.
[43:44] Like, what's it called where you visualize the experience.
[43:49] There's a term for it.
[43:52] Anyway, so like, let's say we're going to do something. We're going to the airport together. Let's say we're not but you know, I would be thinking about, like, okay, we're gonna meet there at 5 o'clock and so our flight's, you know, at 7, so we're going to probably stop someplace and then we'll have some time.
[44:11] And there we go. Now we have some relaxation. So that way it's already. I've already experienced it before it's happened. And so it's like that type of detail and thoughtfulness, that would be something because I'm always asking questions about like, so what about this time or.
[44:31] Or what happens after? You know, what happens after we have our snack?
[44:35] Valerie Beck: Okay, so you're saying that you want to let go of that or at least.
[44:38] Lynn Beck: No, I don't want to let go.
[44:40] Valerie Beck: You don't want it. Okay.
[44:40] Lynn Beck: I'm just saying, like, that's what would be my 20%. I would think someone would see as me.
[44:45] Valerie Beck: I see, I see.
[44:46] Lynn Beck: Yeah.
[44:47] Valerie Beck: Okay. Which I think is pretty spot on.
[44:51] Lynn Beck: Yeah. Because. Because like, if like, someone were to just send in a message and be like, oh, we're going to go to the airport, see you at seven, like, no, it's not just see you at seven, Right when the flight takes off.
[45:03] There's other things and. Okay, let's get together before that.
[45:07] Valerie Beck: Yeah, yeah. Well, I see what your strength is, is in being very able to set the structure for people, which I think a lot of people won't necessarily do for themselves.
[45:21] And so it is setting expectations and all of that and allowing for a little bit less chaos than what would naturally happen.
[45:31] Lynn Beck: Yeah. And this goes back to your question like 20 minutes ago about strengths and weaknesses. And so the weakness could be seen as like, micromanaging. And that's not really the intent.
[45:41] It's creating that. It is creating that structure and like, reliability.
[45:46] Valerie Beck: Yeah. I think, I think there is a difference though, between micromanaging and setting structure.
[45:52] Because setting the structure means that you're setting it and not necessarily forgetting it, but you've done the responsibility of setting it and then you're letting everyone else kind of take up the reins of actually executing.
[46:04] Whereas micromanaging means that you set the structure and you're going to do everything yourself.
[46:09] Kind of like.
[46:10] Lynn Beck: Yeah, the old way, right?
[46:12] Valerie Beck: Yeah, totally.
[46:13] Lynn Beck: 2020. Yeah. Yeah. So that'd be a difference.
[46:17] Valerie Beck: Yeah. Is that scary?
[46:20] Lynn Beck: No, I think it's exciting in a good way. And it's also helpful to know that this is my nature and it's. So I'm okay with that because it is my nature.
[46:33] Like, I am the person to be. To have that in my mind, like, I am. It's okay that I ask these questions. I set this structure because that's. That's who I am at the heart of it.
[46:48] Valerie Beck: Yeah. So that's like leaning into who you are.
[46:54] Lynn Beck: And that will. In, like, this kind of outline, we'll call it, of these things that I do that are me, then will be easier for me to see scenarios in the future that I can overlay these skills and be like, oh, let's say it's an organization.
[47:13] It's like they need something and I can offer these skills, and then I know that it's a good fit.
[47:23] And so, like, that's how I would see that 20% is moving forward too.
[47:27] Valerie Beck: Yeah.
[47:29] Lynn Beck: Who are those people that I want to hang around?
[47:31] Valerie Beck: Ooh, yeah.
[47:33] Who are you putting into your tribe of heroes?
[47:39] Okay, so the last point that I want us to touch upon today is a strategy.
[47:45] And I will be completely honest. So I. I'm obsessed with Seth Godin's work. I've been on his. His newsletter for quite a while, which is why I got the this is Strategy book.
[47:56] I actually bought eight copies of it when it came out. And it is because even though he writes on marketing, he's actually writing on philosophy and he's looking at whole systems and also just approaches.
[48:11] Lynn Beck: Right.
[48:12] Valerie Beck: He makes a lot of really great distinctions between tactics and strategy.
[48:17] And what I have learned, especially in my year this year, having gone through Wellness Pro Academy and trying to figure out what in the world I'm doing and whether I'm doing it correctly and like, how can I better drive results, is that I, I.
[48:32] What I realized is that I actually was ignorant of strategy.
[48:37] It wasn't that I tried to have a strategy or anything. I was ignorant of the fact that I even needed one.
[48:45] And it wasn't until I really started to dig into Seth's work and read the book that I realized that the scale of change that I'm trying to make in this world requires a little bit more of that planning.
[49:00] And it requires specific approaches that are going to have with the outcome in mind, with the impact in mind as well.
[49:10] So I want to ask you, what role does strategy play in your life and why do you think it is important for you?
[49:18] Lynn Beck: Yeah. So right now, so I would say I can relate with strategy. I didn't think, I didn't even know I needed it. And it's one of those things. It's that now I can set the direction and, like, tone of, like, where my life goes and, like, a lot of times it's been thought about for me, like in the work perspective.
[49:41] But now to apply it to my personal self is pretty incredible. And then I love how then this ties in nicely to that 80, 20, because if I can hone in on like, okay, where am I at?
[49:54] What are those? That's, what's that 20%, that's really me and where can I go? And so you're combining now two tools to then operate in the system of you and to then really make you have the most incredible life ever that you couldn't even imagine.
[50:13] Because a lot of people operate in the world of 2x like, oh, this is where I grew up. This is what we do. This is what we do on Sunday.
[50:21] This is what we do on, you know, each day of the week. And, and it's just the same, same every day where when you have this strategy, it's more than just that short term goal.
[50:35] You're in it really for that long game and there's, you start to notice what those decision points are to then, to then make your strategy come to fruition.
[50:46] I think the hardest part is really having a good concept of time and how much time things really do take.
[50:53] Valerie Beck: Oh yeah. I mean that, that is really difficult because a lot of the time, especially when we're trying to get a project off the ground that is coming from scratch, especially if you're not set up for it, it can take a lot longer than you think it wide.
[51:08] And I, I, I see a lot of us trying to kind of wing it.
[51:13] Lynn Beck: Yeah. Like, oh, we'll just see what happens. Like, well, let's take like 10 more minutes and plan it out and, and work with that and then like let's track it. Right.
[51:25] How are we doing? I think that's the other thing that's, that comes with strategy. When you have that strategy in place, you will know then how you're, when you've made it.
[51:36] Because it's more than just a feeling, it's something that's written down.
[51:41] Valerie Beck: Yeah, I used to think that, like, I don't know, I don't even know if I thought this, but I, I, I probably at some point believed that a lot of it was just luck and hard work.
[51:54] Lynn Beck: Right.
[51:54] Valerie Beck: So it's like effort and luck and this, this bit about plan and strategy. I think maybe it escapes me because a lot of us don't really operate that way.
[52:08] And a lot of the time when you do see it, it is very like formulaic.
[52:13] So what I think Steph gets at is that the Strategy changes. And it. Depending on what you want to achieve, you know what you're dealing with and all of that.
[52:23] Because let's say, like, technically, college admissions is a type of strategy, but it is built with a lot of these tactics that I don't. Yeah.
[52:35] That play by system.
[52:37] And so it's like for a lot of people, they're playing, they're actually just taking the tactics and they're not really thinking about the wholeness of the strategy. What is the outcome that you want to produce by going to this area, ABC college and doing whatever.
[52:56] So I think as a, like, an added layer to your.
[53:00] Lynn Beck: Your method, you're really in the subsystem, like, and I love the college admissions as an example because, yeah, if you go through in high school, you do great, then you get into this college system.
[53:11] Okay, now you can become whatever you want. Okay. So you get your degree, and then it's like, okay, now I'm going into the career system. And what's fascinating is there really isn't a system for real life like home life.
[53:26] It's all like, more in the work world. And now I would say we're coming to a time where.
[53:36] And I guess it's hard to say because I don't.
[53:38] It could be just my point of view, but it seems like. And maybe this is my people set. I'm around people who think about strategy more. But it's the idea of, okay, I'm more than just a career person.
[53:49] I'm more than just a mom. I am myself. And so how does this all work together as a system? And so then I'm taking one, like, control of it as the individual, as opposed to saying, like, okay, I'm going to go work for this company.
[54:04] If this was like 20 years ago, if I'm going to go work for this company for 40 years and I'm all set, but then you get to this retirement age, and then what do you do?
[54:13] And then that's why I think then there's all this questioning about, like, who we are and then what do we do with our time? And so now if we can apply strategy with our life and our relationship to people and time, then I'd like to think that it'll feel more meaningful and purposeful because you're not just going with the flow of someone else's direction.
[54:41] You're.
[54:41] Valerie Beck: Yeah, yeah.
[54:42] Lynn Beck: You have that control or input.
[54:45] Valerie Beck: Well, you have the book in front of you, right?
[54:47] Lynn Beck: I do.
[54:48] Valerie Beck: Okay, so I think the assignment.
[54:50] Lynn Beck: No.
[54:50] Valerie Beck: Yeah.
[54:52] Well, if you flip to number one.
[54:55] Yeah. Go to number one. Because I think that this will sum it up really well.
[55:00] And I think what he says is that strategy is the philosophy of becoming. But let me. Let's confirm that.
[55:06] Lynn Beck: Yes. Who will we become? Who will we be of service to? And who will they help others to become?
[55:13] Valerie Beck: Yes.
[55:15] Lynn Beck: And it's a compass. I love how he references that. It's a compass. Because this also gets to the mindset shift of, you're not. You don't have to keep doing the same thing.
[55:26] You can do something different if something's not feeling right anymore.
[55:32] Valerie Beck: Yeah.
[55:33] Lynn Beck: Something's expired. Yeah. So do something different.
[55:36] Valerie Beck: I love that. Yeah. So if, you know, going back to the college admissions example. Right. And he actually, this is. This is something he writes about in that book. I forgot what number it is, but.
[55:48] Is that most kids don't know why they're applying to certain schools. I was that person, too. I just applied to the ones that were somewhere on the top of the US News list that, like, we're kind of far away from home.
[55:59] Like, that was the extent of my strategy.
[56:03] And, you know, without thinking, like, what do I want to do with my life? What. You know, what? Even. Like, what. What job do I want to have? Like, what.
[56:11] What. What feelings do I want to have in the future? Who. What kind of people do I want to be around? Did not have a thought for any of that.
[56:17] It was just about getting into a good college. So that it's all really about fitting it.
[56:23] Lynn Beck: And insecurity. Because there's that sense of security of, like, oh, I'm in college, so all right, I'm good.
[56:31] Valerie Beck: Yeah. But then that's like, it just delays the necessity to think about the bigger questions until later when it's a lot harder to deal with them.
[56:41] So that being said, just. Yeah. I. I think being cognizant of strategy is.
[56:50] Is actually opportunity.
[56:52] Lynn Beck: And when we apply that strategy in a way that. That can be the tool that we use to.
[56:59] It's like, we don't need to know. I don't need to know what I want to do in 10 years. Exactly. I just. This is where it gets backwards for me a little bit, is I just need to know what that essence is.
[57:10] What's that feeling like, how do I want to live in them at that time?
[57:16] And.
[57:17] And that strategy will guide me. And so. And that's where this path, it's. And it's also not a linear path. Like, we'll probably go down some roads that we didn't expect.
[57:28] And that's where we'll meet some really cool people and then we kind of continue on to where it seems more obvious of why we're where we are.
[57:37] Valerie Beck: Yeah, yeah. So trust the process.
[57:41] Lynn Beck: Right. And that there is a process as opposed to. Right. Like, oh, it's Sunday now. I'm gonna go to the grocery store. Yeah.
[57:50] Valerie Beck: Well, cool. Lynn, I think we're gonna wrap it up now, but is there anything that you want to leave the audience with before we go?
[58:00] Lynn Beck: I would say I really, I just really wanna share the biggest learning. For me, when going through this, 10x is easier than 2x. And I recommend the audiobooks. Cause there's more conversations in it.
[58:12] But it's more than just the event because I kept thinking about things in terms of milestones, like, okay, I went to college, I got a full time job. I did X, Y and Z.
[58:26] But it's really about what was that experience within it. So me having that job at the school paper, like that's something that I gained from there that I wouldn't have, that I wasn't even planning to have.
[58:41] Or it could be like meeting a certain person. And then that's how we start to really create our trajectory that we're on. And then that's helped me then to look back a lot easier.
[58:56] Valerie Beck: Very cool.
[58:58] Lynn Beck: Yeah. And so now it's a matter of, you know, it's at the end of the year here, going into 2025, you know, we'll see where 2025 goes. I hope I'm feeling more at ease and just more clear on, you know, what that next step is.
[59:16] And I think that's really all we can do is because this is, I don't know, this is probably either Seth or Derek Seaver's book about like, we really only have today because the past happened and the future doesn't exist yet.
[59:31] So it's like, yeah, how can we live in the truth right now?
[59:35] Valerie Beck: Amazing. All right, we'll leave it with that question.
[59:38] Thank you, Lynn, for an amazing, enlightening conversation and I will catch you later. So thank you so much for being on the show.
[59:47] Lynn Beck: Thank you. So.
[59:57] Valerie Beck: Hey there. Feeling inspired to start your personal growth journey? Join me, Valerie and the Intrepid wellness community for our next wellness challenge. With daily accountability, live coaching, and simple, actionable steps, our challenges are designed to provide the support and structure you need to pursue your personal goals.
[01:00:17] Whether you're looking to break old patterns, reconnect with yourself, or build lasting wellness habits, our challenges are your perfect starting point. Visit Intrepid Wellness Life.
[01:00:28] Ignite to learn more and reserve your spot today.
