[00:00] Valerie: Rise, renew, reconnect. Welcome to from the Ashes, a podcast where every story ignites. Hope and healing.
[00:16] Shiemier: Shadows may come try to tear you apart, but you're the fame.
[00:21] Valerie: All right, everyone, welcome back to from the ashes. I am your host, Valerie Beck, and today my guest is, is Shiemier Monroe. She is a native from West LA, and she is the host of the podcast Lounge with Monroe. She has a passion for empowering everyone to heal their inner child and balance their mental health, and she is a youth educator for LA county. She is a very kind spirited, very relatable person, and I'm really happy to have you here on the show, Shamir, so welcome.
[00:51] Shiemier: Thank you. Thank you for that introduction, Valerie. Appreciate you. It's an honor to be on your show, especially. It's so fitting, rising from the ashes. It's so fitting. As I mentioned to you, I have, I resonate with the phoenix bird, and I have that tattooed on my left shoulder.
[01:11] Valerie: Absolutely. And it's something that I hopefully one day will also have tattooed on me. But, yeah, I just. Phoenix. Rising from the ashes has been a theme in my life, but I think even more so in the recent years, because it just, I've had to reinvent myself in so many different ways and just start over again and again, which is why I have this podcast, because I think it's not uncommon for us to have to go through this, especially if we choose to follow our heart and to be authentic to ourselves. So I always have people start with them telling a from the ashes story, a point in your life where you really have had to evaluate, you know, the direction that you're going, where you've really had to pick up the pieces. So I will let you have the floor.
[02:00] Shiemier: Okay, well, where I picked up that, you know, where I came from, the ashes, so to speak. It actually started from college in my master's program, and I'm gonna start there and then go backwards. Right. So that was a starting point for me, is one of my professors brought to my attention that she noticed, you know, that I was not, I wasn't participating. I mean, I was there in class, but that anytime she called on to me that I told her, can you come back to me? And then in that moment, I would get up and, like, step out of class. And that's happened more quite often. And she picked up on that I'm sure everybody else did in my class, which was embarrassing. Long story short, she pulled me to the side after class one day and said, you know, hey, you know, has anyone ever mentioned to you or, you know, or maybe you even know that you may have symptoms of, you know, ADHD or anxiety. And at first I took it. I took it kind of, like, personal. And I'm like, no. I was like, I don't have that. And mind you, she's a psychiatrist, okay? So she's seeing these things because during lectures, I would stand up against the wall. Cause I just couldn't be in my seat. And that's been in my life throughout my childhood is I just couldn't. I can't be in my seat for too long. Like, I want to do something else. I want to help. I was always that kid to ask the teacher, can I pass out the paper? Or, you know, I want to do something. So I was always finished before everybody else. So, anyways, I was reflecting after. At first, I was in denial. I'm like, no, everything's good. But she said, I really would like for you to highly consider, you know, being evaluated as you're in this program, in psychology program. All of us, she says, every one of us has to be evaluated, and because in order to help others, we have to help ourselves first.
[04:10] Valerie: Yeah.
[04:11] Shiemier: And so I took that in, and it did. Honestly, it did. To be transparent. It did bother me a lot because I thought I was being singled out, you know, and especially being one of the, you know, just. I was the only, you know, brown skinned person in the class. I'm gonna say about two of us in the class. You know, I was at Pepperdine university, and I just felt like I was singled out. But it was not just her. Another professor also pulled me to the side and was that was it. Like, I'm like, okay, if is more than one professor saying that to me. And this is. I had to take this serious because this is a master's program, right? And I'm studying psychology. I want to help people. I understood that I have to help myself. And so I finally went to get evaluated. I was referred from my university, referred to another, you know, psychology department or. Sorry. Yeah, I was getting evaluated, and sure enough, so I was diagnosed in 2015. I was diagnosed with ADHD, severe anxiety, mild depression. And I was able to be functional. You know, I was. You know, I'm functional. But it was all a mask. You know, just, I've been doing a lot of masking. In order to. In order to heal that or to come to terms with that, you have to, I guess, peel all those layers, so to speak, of your inner child. And that's when that was introduced to me, is starting from childhood, because when I was diagnosed, it made sense. It made sense to me. Everything I've been through, like, just the feelings, everything. The anxiety during class time, it just made sense. For example, you know, raising your hand. I'm so confident. And, you know, kids around you make fun of you and call you a nerd or a geek. Like, oh, look at you. You know, you think you know it all. It was because when I'm focused on something or if I really like the topic, I'm gonna, like, raise my hand and talk about it, get excited about it. But as a young child, being made fun of because I knew something kids would say, like, oh, you read that? Like what? Like. And so it just made me. Made me kind of, like, lower myself or kind of just hide in my own shell because I don't want to be labeled as a know it all or a geek or nerd, which I now probably as an adult, you know, I'm prouder to be a nerd. I'm proud to, you know, be, you know, super focused on a certain topic.
[07:15] Valerie: Yeah.
[07:16] Shiemier: So that's just something it made me appreciate what. How I was back then. But in that moment, I wasn't, you know, I was. It was scary to fully be myself as a kid with ADHD because I was also, you know, a weird kidde, awkward. You know, I would laugh at certain things that wasn't funny to others. Or if it was funny, I was still laughing at it, and others were like, okay, that's, like, that's not funny anymore. Or, you know, just things that I always brought up certain. I pondered on things a lot that most kids wouldn't. Wouldn't ponder on. And so, you know, that was an also indicator of one of the symptoms as a kid.
[08:09] Valerie: Okay, so it started all out with your kind of realizing that you have ADHD in masters, in your m master's program. Did that send you on a journey, on a healing journey? What happened afterwards that has changed your life? What did that diagnosis open up for you?
[08:32] Shiemier: Absolutely. It definitely started a whole healing journey of myself, of things that I've encountered throughout my journey with being not just only with ADHD, but also being biracial. You know, I'm half half mexican, half jamaican, and I grew up sheltered and, you know, not so much street smart. So because with that being said, you know, people take advantage and, oh, they would see that I'm too nice. So with that being said, like, yeah, I definitely healing the parts of me that I was a very timid person and I wanted to. I have looked at those things that were necessary. Not necessarily. I don't want to say the word weak, but it just. It wasn't the best part of me because I just didn't speak up for myself. And I wanted to, you know, build a most. Build on my. On the strength to speak up for myself and advocate. And that's where I've been. I've been working on myself. This has been since 2015. So I'm looking at a just childhood traumas, things that I've endured, which I'm not going to detail in my podcast, but episode two, it won't go in detail, but things I've endured was sexual assault, bullying. I was bullied a lot. That was throughout, from elementary school to high school. That was very traumatic. I was scared to go to school. And to be honest, that was a cause of me not graduating from high school. And that's something nobody knows is I had to get my high school diploma from the office. I didn't get to walk on stage. So that is the reason why I pushed myself to finish college, to get my masters, because I was doing that for myself. I wasn't doing it to prove no to nobody, but it was for myself that I. I can do it. And also to show my nieces and nephew that they, too, can do it and not let nothing limit them, despite of the. Anything that comes their way in their journey.
[10:56] Valerie: Thank you for openly sharing your experiences with the. The trauma and the bullying. And I know it's not easy. If you don't mind, if I could ask just some of the aftermath or the consequences of that. I think it's important for people to hear what the impact is of bullying. Especially people don't realize that because there's always that saying, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. But it's so wrong. It's just so inaccurate.
[11:32] Shiemier: Very inaccurate. It's funny, and I'm glad you brought that up. My. My poor dad. I mean, he. He did the best he could, but he would tell me to say that to the kids. Like, when I was. When I would come home crying. That was the one thing, the quote that you just said right now. He goes, well, just tell them that six and stones might break my bones, but words will never hurt me. But that's not really. That's not going to protect you from the bullies, right? That actually is going to. It's like adding more. More to their fuel to make fun of you. But to answer your question, you said, what was the. You said, what was the aftermath.
[12:09] Valerie: Yeah. What was the impact of that? Because what I would imagine is that some of what happened to you was internalized as it being your fault. A lot of the times when things happen to us in childhood, we don't know better. Right. And so it takes a long time for us to realize, like, that wasn't us doing anything wrong. So I just want to hear a little bit about your experience with what your thought process was like. What. What impact did it have on you and your way of thinking about yourself?
[12:39] Shiemier: Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I agree with you 100%. Yeah. During that time, I actually did blame myself for being just too nice because that's what the main. That was the theme of my bullies. I was Miss goody two shoes or, you know, teacher's pet or, like, you think you're all that. So things like that, I. What I internalize is that I'm not cool. Like, I'm not not a cool person, which kind of just made me more going to my shell. Like, it really caused me to be more like a quiet person and not speak up at all. Like, I was even such a young age, I was. Had to go see the school psychologist or the social worker because of other things that were happening at home. That, like, that was just another layer. Like, things are happening at home and then building happened at school. It just caused me to be more like a. Yeah. Kind of like a turtle in its shell, basically not really wanting to be social. So, yeah, I would hang out in the bathroom. In junior high specifically, that was the harshest bullying I had, was in junior high. And, yeah, I was very introverted, you know, to say the least.
[14:06] Valerie: At what point in your life would you say that you realized it wasn't your fault?
[14:12] Shiemier: So it's going back to the college? Yes. When I was diagnosed with ADHD and just sitting there on my therapist couch, peeling away the layers and, yeah, I had a breakthrough that I was just being myself, you know, I guess back in that time, just people being ignorant or, you know, not educated, but children just. I guess when children see something different is when they pick at it. Right? Like. And it's amazing because in today's world, different, being different is embraced. But back then, in the eighties, eighties and nineties, it was so tough. And what was uncovered is that during one of my therapy sessions is that I was just being myself. And it wasn't my fault. None of that. It was just. They didn't understand. Maybe they wanted to be or not be, but maybe they didn't know how to embrace my difference or how I was with my personality. And, yeah.
[15:22] Valerie: So oftentimes when we do go through a lot of our life having a certain perception of ourselves, right, of us being different or unworthy and whatnot. Because we internalize it, it becomes a pattern in situations, even when we are not in a threatening situation, maybe something new, and it becomes kind of our way to protect ourselves is to go back into that shell. Have you ever noticed you going back into your shell in a situation where it wasn't really a threat, but that was your automatic response?
[16:06] Shiemier: Oh, man. Yes. I must say in my dating life, okay. Because, you know, and then this is in general, too, like, when you meet somebody new, you know, you, you want to, like, just give somebody just little parts of yourself because, and I think that's just in general, right, when you meet somebody, we just kind of have to warm up first. But, yeah, I have, I have noticed myself that I do kind of, like, retreat, especially if I'm, like, making a goofy comment or if they don't get it or they just make that comment, it makes me really wrinkle inside. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, those moments. So, yeah, that is true. But I have to remind myself in those moments, and I also speak to myself like, it's okay, like, you're not for everybody and just all I can do is be myself. They don't like it. Or there's other people that embrace me and enjoy my silliness or my goofy comments, you know?
[17:17] Valerie: Yeah, well, you mentioned before, like, before you were made fun of for kind of being the person who's like, get hyper excited about something that interests you, and, like, now you would fully embrace that. What parts of you have you fully embraced? Like, have you been, like, oh, before I, like, push that away, but now this is, like, this is me.
[17:39] Shiemier: Yeah. One I love. I'm a gamer. I love video games. And also I like people watching. And it's funny. I reconnected with my old friend, my preschool friend. Her and I, we used to people watch even as little kids, and we would make voices, put voices to people. And so that's how we entertain ourselves in the schoolyard is like, we would, I say it, basically do voiceovers. And I was telling her, like, we should have just got into that career in doing a voiceover for cartoons because we'll make different voices for people. Like, these people had no idea, like, what we were doing, but it was funny with how they were walking or doing something. And so those are little quirks that we did. I just know that stayed with me. So I always, always have little funny stuff, and now I see it on instagram. I see it on social media now. I think some people do it with animals, right?
[18:44] Valerie: Yeah.
[18:44] Shiemier: Yeah. So that's the type of thing that I'm into. I know that may be weird for somebody, but I just. I like to do little voices and stuff for both animals and people.
[18:57] Valerie: Yeah. I mean, these days, weird can. It's like, embrace, and I love that. Right. And I think the world is. Is changing a lot because we're just exposed to so much more, too. You know, things that have been foreign for so long, like, foreign cultures and languages and then just, like, different ways of thinking of things now, like, everyone is on social media talking about it. We have very little choice but to start to open our minds.
[19:24] Shiemier: Yeah, exactly. And that part, now that I think, like, the user saying, now that everything's on social media, there seems like, to be this big embrace, kind of, you know, like, that's accepted. People want to learn new cultures or want to learn that new dance or, you know, like, things like that. And even the fact that even nail polish, like, you know, there's. Girls can wear, like, different nail polish colors on their fingers without being made fun of, like, that's awesome. How far we've come. Had I done that as a kid, people be like, what? Like, why'd you color your nails like that? You know, like, little things like that is. I just applaud how far we've come as a. As a people, as humans, but we still have a lot to get over, you know, with politics and racism still very, very much still alive these days. But overall, with embracing cultures, we're. I mean, we're getting there.
[20:28] Valerie: We're definitely getting there. Yeah, I think it will be. Yeah, you're right. In that there's. There's definitely a lot farther to go. I guess it's. It's just that people still have trouble empathizing.
[20:42] Shiemier: Yeah.
[20:43] Valerie: And even when it's all over the Internet, you get. You have people, like, commenting, like, as if people didn't have feelings.
[20:50] Shiemier: Yeah.
[20:51] Valerie: So it will be a really interesting next ten or so years as technology is just like. Right. So it's just developing so fast, and the connection between people is just, like, closing. It will be eye opening to see what. How will we evolve as a species.
[21:08] Shiemier: Right.
[21:09] Valerie: Yeah.
[21:10] Shiemier: And you just spoke about something. You just brought up something really interesting because that's a very thing that keeps me from my podcast. Number two is the trolls. That is so scary, and it does bring back memories of being bullied. Right. That's something that, that I'm noticing that I have to still kind of work through, but I know that I. That I can do it, you know? But, yeah, that's, that's the scary part. It's putting yourself out there and, and someone speaking negatively about it.
[21:47] Valerie: Absolutely. I think it's. It's such a valid fear, and these people just do existential. And the ugly part about it is that it's such a wide world out there. We don't know if this individual is just, like, really malicious. We don't know if there's an organization behind. Like, there's just so much out there. And, you know, a lot of times it's just people who are lonely, but it can seem very threatening. Right. Especially when it's, like, outright malicious and, like, ill will it force upon you.
[22:26] Shiemier: Yeah.
[22:26] Valerie: Yeah. How, how have you seen yourself building up your resilience ever since? Like, you realize, like, I really want my story told. How have you been building up that resilience again?
[22:42] Shiemier: Yeah. Me hearing other people's stories has actually inspired me to even tell my story as well, because I know how that. How it feels to feel alone. Right. And when you feel, when you hear someone sharing themselves, their own hardships and their own personal stuff, I, that resonated with me, and that's helped me in my journey. And so therefore, it's almost like I want to give back, you know, to community or even worldwide. Like, anyone that's going through or has gone through the same things that I've gone through, I want to let the world know that they're not alone. Like, even if it. If it reaches one person, you know, the struggles. Struggles with, you know, being diagnosed with ADHD, I feel like it's so important to, because I know there's people that don't believe in therapy, but I really highly encourage it. I can't emphasize it enough because I myself, I didn't for a while, but then I get it. To be diagnosed, especially if you know the symptoms you are having, it's so helpful and it's an eye opener to yourself. Right. Because now you know how to manage these certain things and to be more, you know, effective, especially when it comes to school and work, you need those tools, digit toys, for example, those noise cancellation earphones that you need so you can focus on a paper or something like that. You know, that extra time you need for an exam that others don't get. Those little pieces are so helpful to get through certain tasks and to have that had I not listened to my professor or I don't know where I would be right now. I, without those tools. And just with anything, having that therapist to, like, so to speak, like hold a mirror, not, not to literally hold a mirror, but they're reflecting things to you on how, you know, when you're sharing and it makes you, like, pause and think and reflect. Like, wow, I didn't know that. Or I didn't think about that before. So it's so important to go through that process to become a better person for yourself. And because you're doing it for you, tapping into your higher self, I think, is very important. And you're also healing your inner child, your inner teenager, at the same time resolving things that the whole point of inner healing inner child is that your voice wasn't heard and you weren't seen. And so as an adult, you're being like that, your lawyer, basically, like you're advocating for that little child in you and let it be seen and heard. And that's where we're at now. As an adult, you're basically being that representative and doing the things that you couldn't do back then. So that's why I want to, you know, be in that voice, that voice that others are probably are scared of. But I want to empower everyone that they, too, have a story and they can share it when they're ready because it's, it's almost like a healing in itself when you're sharing and then you're, how do I say? Cathartic. Sorry, cathartic. Right. Like, to do that because at the same time you're like, wow, you know, you're just healing yourself as you're going through that process.
[26:25] Valerie: You said a lot of things that were really important, and I have so many questions, but I think one that is popping up right now, or a comment, rather, is this being an advocate for your inner child? One of the most powerful meditations I've ever done was an inner child healing meditation. I wasn't even expecting it. So I want to also talk about being biracial, living as a third culture kid because I am a first generation american born chinese, and I do come from a family where there's been generational trauma. I don't think that my childhood per se was traumatic, but I carry the after effects of my grandparents generations and my parents generations because the way that they were raised and treated carries over eventually to me. Right, right. And it was really interesting to go through and do the inner child work because I realized that that little Valerie really didn't feel like she had a voice. I remember journaling throughout my childhood as a kid, I would have dreams about. About that very thing, like feeling powerless, like feeling like, you know, my dad listened to me and whatnot. And it didn't really have anything to do with, with my parents, per se, but, like, there was something about just the way that I grew up where, like, I just felt so small and it carried over to adulthood. I want to hear your thoughts on that. And then I want to talk a little bit about, like, what it was like to grow up with two, I guess, immigrant parents, right. In America. Yeah.
[28:11] Shiemier: Well, thank you for sharing that. Yeah. That when you said, you know, resonated with me, you know, of, like, you said your little Valerie and then me little Shamir, you know, because I was, you know, that when parents say, oh, you're just a kid, basically, when they, when someone says that, it has such a negative undertone to it that our words or voice doesn't matter when we're trying to speak or. Right. You know, or the common thing, I would be told, because I'm the oldest of my siblings, but, like, this is an adult conversation, you know, go. Go play, go do something. But I would overhear conversations or drama or things happening in the family that I wanted to voice. I wanted to say something about it, but just never, it was not acknowledged. And so that also affected me. Right. It does. Those little things are things that kids won't forget, you know, moments like that. And it does do something to their growth as there. And I think I mentioned this to you before, podcast about the Eric Erickson theory, ages and stages. So whatever age you're at, where you experience trauma or something, you're going to get stuck at that age until that gets resolved. And that's where the inner child comes in. The inner child healing comes in. You know, whatever age you are at, it's going to be in you. And that's where, you know, if you ever been told, oh, you're such a big kid, or it's because, I mean, yeah, you're an adult. But also, I don't know if I'm explaining this right, but you're part of you. You know, your inner you.
[29:52] Valerie: Oh, absolutely.
[29:53] Shiemier: Is in you because that's the, that's at the age where you, you need to make peace with, you know, I mean, I don't know if that's the right thing to say, but yeah, yeah, going back to. That's a straight too much away.
[30:10] Valerie: No, it's a really good point. Though. Yeah.
[30:12] Shiemier: So, yeah, growing up, my mom is from Mexico and Guadalajara, Mexico, and then my dad's from Kingston, Jamaica. So those two. Just me saying that those are two different worlds. Okay. It's the food. I mean, I gotta say, the food is bomb. I had the privilege of having the best of both worlds, but the food and the culture, you know, music. But there was so much pressure because my parents came here from their country and they wanted a better life. So I felt like they were living vicariously through me. Like, all that pressure of, you know, doing my best and focus on school, you know, just immense pressure. And that's why, like, it did affect me when I didn't. Wasn't able to walk on stage because, you know, I would have been the first in my family to finish school, finish high school, and. And I didn't. And I felt like I was a big let down, which is part of the reason why I'm like, I have to go to college. I gotta do this. It's not for them, but for me more. So I wanna show myself that not to give up, you know, to keep moving forward despite of the hurdles and challenges that have been thrown my way. But, yeah, just the pressures of doing the best I can. Also the role of being second mom, I didn't get too much to have a full teenage life or child life because I had to take care of, watch my siblings, you know, while my parents are at work. So, yeah, things like that and having resentment because of that, because I didn't get to do the things I wanted to really do. I had to stay home and, you know, wash dishes or, you know, just, like I said, be like a second mom. So, yeah, it was rough. And also because my parents didn't. They didn't understand the culture, you know, american culture, and, you know, me wanting certain things, and there was, like, this disconnect of, you know, the american culture. I don't know, they just. Yeah, especially for my moms.
[32:28] Valerie: And, yeah, I. I can definitely relate to that. I actually want to go back a little bit to what you said before about the part of us that is still kid. It's a really powerful point because we will have emotional meltdowns and it will seem like all of a sudden it's like we don't know how to act anymore. We don't know how to adult. And it could be just so fast. Right. It's just a trigger. Yep, it is a trigger. I mean, I don't even know if I'm over it yet at this age where if I get triggered by something. You will see me start to ball and, like, act out.
[33:13] Shiemier: Absolutely.
[33:14] Valerie: Yeah. And that is the inner child that wasn't seen or heard. Right. It is the inner child that felt like crying was the only way for us to get any kind of empathy.
[33:27] Shiemier: Yes.
[33:28] Valerie: Yeah.
[33:29] Shiemier: Especially when you feel misunderstood. Right. Like, for me, my trigger is when I'm not understood and things get taken out of context that I do. You will see tears coming out of my eyes and it's just out of frustration. It's so true. And even in that moment, those are moments that even as a kid, I would get in trouble for just things and wasn't allowed to explain what happened. And yet I get spanked or without even no explanation or be punished without hearing my side of the story. That was always the case, you know, when it. When it came to, I don't know if I just things, you know, like I get in trouble or I'm coming home late or something like that.
[34:16] Valerie: Yeah, yeah. It's. It can get, like, at least I know for me, it has gotten sometimes to the point where it feels very self punishing and, like, I have to really pull myself back because it. Sometimes it is like I am choosing to self punish so that, like, it's like, you can't harm me more than I can harm myself almost has been the reaction I've had sometimes. And I know how problematic that could be because, like, at the end of the day, you really have to be your own self advocate. And if you can't, like, no one really is there to save you from that.
[34:55] Shiemier: Oh, yeah. And that's where you feel the loneliness, right? I mean, I can. I mean, speak for myself, like, when being that advocate, but also, same time, you feel so alone in that moment, wherever, but you have to have that strength, build that, enough strength to pull yourself from that, you know, like you, I like what you said earlier about no one can harm you other than yourself. Right. Like we tend to. Well, I tend to be part of myself. I'm not sure. I mean, do you, are you hard on yourself in those moments?
[35:29] Valerie: Yes, I certainly feel like in those moments, I feel very desperate in those moments.
[35:38] Shiemier: And tell me more about that. Like, I'm just curious. Yeah.
[35:42] Valerie: Answering that, when I feel like I'm not being heard, the child's within me. Just wants to cry harder, wants to lash out harder. Because it's like, why isn't this being understood? How can I get myself to be heard more? And then it just becomes like emotional spiral. When it becomes emotional spiral, it's like. It's very hard to escape that rationally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you.
[36:14] Shiemier: No, yeah, definitely. Especially the spiraling part. I've done that with my therapist, and. Yeah, it is. And I love that. That I was given that space to spiral, but it's. It's about how to, once that happens, on how to. To reflect on it and just give yourself that grace and to give yourself that love. And I think that's the part that is not taught to us also as kids, is to give ourselves that self care, that self love, that space. I think so much when something happens, it's like, almost like parents, they act like nothing happened or things get brushed under the rug. And so I think growing up, seeing that, I mean, for myself, I don't give myself that. Like, I just, you know, act like nothing happened, but it. You know, it did. And it's okay to. It's okay to sit there and cry or, you know, and be mad for that moment. You know, it's. It's okay. And to give ourselves that hug, you know? I know it may sound strange, you know, to others, but I. But we know we are a being. We are human, and we deserve that. It's just all about pouring that into ourselves, because we have to imagine that our inner child is right in front of us. So what will we tell a child? What are we going to say? Those are things to keep that in mind and say that. I remember my therapist, and I have it in my refrigerator door right now, a picture of myself, my six year old self. She says to look at it and speak to it. Cause that's who's inside you. So I always look at it, and I'm always reflective and speak nothing but affirmations to my six year old self.
[38:18] Valerie: It is really powerful. Thank you for guiding me through that conversation. Like, I. I don't often reflect on that, but it is such a big part of it. And it. It is very scary to go down that route sometimes, but it's necessary just because some of the times where we have been kids are the times where we have had the least power. It just is that way.
[38:40] Shiemier: Yes. Yeah. It's unfortunate, but I think in. In this day and age, I love that more and more families are having those conversations with their children and giving children the voice to say or to partake in family decisions and things like that. I think that's so empowering and important to make a child feel that they, too, are a member. Their voice is heard. And, yeah, I hope, like you said, we have so much, like, we're there, but then it's like, there's so much to get to, right?
[39:19] Valerie: Yeah.
[39:19] Shiemier: In this human experience, so to speak.
[39:24] Valerie: Let's bring it back to the present. Now that we. I know that you're a health educator, and so you do actually teach kids now, and you're doing your podcast where you're gonna be telling your story when you're teaching kids, or if you're just around with anyone who may need help with this work. Like what. What are some tools that you give them?
[39:47] Shiemier: Oh, I definitely give them the space to express themselves, you know, in the work that I do, or even, you know, if my niece, even in my own family, they want to talk to me, but give them the space to share with me whatever they're comfortable with. And I always tell them that what you share with me stays with a. Between us. Unless you plan to hurt yourself or hurt others, you know, you know, may have to reach out to, you know, other resources, but I'm giving them, giving them that space and also not forcing them to say, you know, say anything, even though if I ask questions, I respect, you know, what they share, but I always want to leave. What I leave with them is that they are not alone and that even though if they maybe. Maybe they don't want to talk to me about whatever it is, but there's other people. There's so much resources out there, but I always, always comfort them and let them know that nothing that they say or do is silly. We've all have been there where they've been, and they're not alone. That's the key thing, is in that we will get this through this together and whatever they're dealing with.
[41:04] Valerie: Yeah. Beautiful. So tell us a little bit about lounge with Monroe, how you got the idea to do it and where you would like to take it.
[41:16] Shiemier: Oh, thank you for that question. Yeah, lounge with Monroe. I came up with that because I, ideally, I do want to open up a lounge. Going to be a space where people come and listen to music, get some tea, possibly some, like, natural juices, if I collaborate with my dad. And it's a safe space for them, for somebody to come in, either listen to someone, if I bring in a guest speaker for the day to come, educate the community about something, or in another day, have poetry night, open mic, and then karaoke night. So it's basically like, I don't want to call it a club, but just a lounge where arts are celebrated, like, different healing arts are celebrated, and people can just come and heal parts of themselves, right. That's why I'm so intentional in the tea. Like, having tea and just things that are going to help with health. I don't want to bring in alcohol into the mix, even though, yes, sometimes that's helpful, too. So I want to do that. So lounge is Monroe. Monroe is my last name, and I feel like that was easier for people to pronounce because I don't want to say lounge with Shamir, it was hard, whatever, to come up with the name, but I'm like, okay, Monroe's easy. And then if I want to leave, I guess my family's legacy, like the name. And that's why in case that I were to no longer be here or pass that somebody like a niece, nephew, or someone in the family can, like, take over or, you know, that's why I left the name there. So I'm starting with the podcast first to build a community and the listeners, and then hopefully bring them into the lounge when I physically open it. But the podcast is just going to be something word like how you and I are having this conversation. I want to open up those conversations as I share my story and then bring in people, not just anybody, but people that I've come across in my path. I see myself as like Dorothy from Wizard of Oz. That's how I see myself in this world is the people. Like how, just like how Dorothy ran into the line, the tin man. We all have come across various peoples in our. In our journey, right? And they come along with us in this journey. Some may not, you know, some people cannot come on this journey, you know, unfortunately. But they helped us along the way, right? They helped us to get to the odds, so to speak, you know? But I want to bring on. I want to bring in the people that's helped me to be who I am and interview those. These people, whether they're friends, family, or people I just met, like yourself, that are, helped me to empower myself. And so I want to celebrate everyone, I want to celebrate and let their story be heard, just like how you're doing on your podcast, which I find amazing. And, man, God makes no mistakes. So it's so crazy how you and I were sitting right next to each other at the speaker event, how we met, and the fact that you, when you mention your podcast, the name of it, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I was blown away. Like what? Doing exactly, exactly what I want to do. And I admire you a lot, you know, and I. I really admire what you're doing and I know. I see this going very far. All I can do is just tell you, keep, keep rising and shining, you know, like a phoenix. Like, just keep, keep doing what you're doing.
[45:24] Valerie: Thank you so much, Shamir. That means a lot to me and I'm really happy to have had you on the podcast today. It's turned out to be a really good conversation, really deep. So I wish you all the best as well. Thank you so much for being here today.
[45:40] Shiemier: Well, thank you, Valerie. Appreciate you. And you are going to be on my podcast too, so wait and see.
[45:46] Valerie: Awesome. All right, thanks everyone. Hey there. If you've been tuning in and finding value in our discussions about resilience and personal growth, I think you'll really appreciate what we're building at Club Phoenix. Club Phoenix is more than just a community. It's a movement towards holistic wellness and vibrant living. Whether you're battling burnout or just seeking a deeper connection with your mental and physical health, Club Phoenix offers tools, resources and a supportive community to help you rise above and thrive. Dive deeper into your journey of transformation by visiting us at intrepidwellness Life Club Phoenix. Discover how you can join our community and start shaping a life filled with vitality and purpose. That's intrepidwellness life club Phoenix. Can't wait to see you there. Rising together.
