[00:00] Valerie: Rise, renew, reconnect. Welcome to from the Ashes, a podcast where every story ignites. Hope and healing shadows may come try.
[00:21] Valerie: I have my friend Brandi Andres today with me. She's the owner of the Wellest and Bar non in Long Beach, California, where we live. And she has been a huge inspiration and just such a go getter in the world of small business here and has a really great story. She's also a fellow alchemist fan and Tim Ferriss fan, and we've really bonded over those two points. So I'm really excited to talk to you today. Brandi. The wellest is a retail and community space on Broadway in Long beach, and it is a relatively new business as well, featuring non alcoholic beverages, mindful lifestyle goods, eco friendly, and fair trade. So, yeah, Brandi, welcome.
[01:13] Brandi: Thank you. Thank you for having me.
[01:16] Valerie: So, I've heard bits and pieces of your story as we've gotten to know each other, and it's been really cool to see where you have gone, even in the past few months with your business. But let's dig a little bit back into your maybe your origin story. And what I like to ask people on this podcast is about their experiences with essentially, like, rebirth and having to restart. So what I would like to ask you about is a from your from the ashes story. Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt like you've had to restart, reinvent yourself? And what were the, what was the back story about that?
[01:59] Brandi: The funny thing about that question, because obviously, as you mentioned, I have a shop and a lounge in Long beach called the Wellest. A part of that is I've sort of expanded the well list, which was originally a modern mercantile community space where I sell all clean beauty, eco friendly home goods, fair trade clothing and sustainable clothing, and also accessories, in addition to wellness products, which include non alcoholic beverages. So that's sort of where I was, and then it's transformed into this lounge, really kind of building out more of the community space and bringing people in for live music and whatnot. That's where I am now. And I'd say probably a few months ago, I may have, or even like at the beginning of last year, I may have said that my coming out of the ashes story really would be all about starting the business. But the interesting thing in the way that you posed the question is that it really just brought to mind how many times I have picked myself up and risen from the ashes, if you will. I feel like my entire life really has been just, I've had, like, numerous rebirths and for, you know, a number of reasons, obviously, you know, the, probably more recognizable, like, the ones that most people can probably say are, you know, rebirth from, you know, you know, teenager to adults and, you know, all of those kind of the age related rebirths where, you know, you have something major happening. People get married, they have kids, all of those things. But for me, I have definitely been the kind of person who, I don't know if it's, if it's, if it's a consistent thing, but I, I internalize a lot. So I'm a very, like, sociable, outgoing, you know, some, most people would probably say extroverted person who, you know, is sort of always on the go and always, like, out and, you know, like, meeting with friends and family and whatnot. But I do love my alone time, my time to, like, sort of calm down, go within, really think about where I've been, what I'm doing, who I'm surrounding myself with. Yeah. Just sort of thinking about where I am in life and if this is where I want to be. So I've done that for a good portion of my life, even as a teenager. And so I'd say my first out of the ashes or rising from the ashes story would really have been when I was in my teens or, yeah, I guess teens, early twenties. And I had decided that I was going to try full fledged acting and that it was one of those things where I had, I had, I had just decided to go to community college and take some classes, and it was really more just to please my family. But then at the classes that I took, interestingly enough, very much defined what my future would look like because I took an acting class, I took a psychology class. This is my first semester at college. And then I took a journalism class. So acting is what I wanted to do. And I figured, okay, well, if I'm, you know, my family, my parents want me to go to school, then I'll go to school, but I'll still take acting. And I auditioned for the, for the play, and I ended up getting the play. And then, you know, I was kind of on the side doing commercial auditions. I had gotten an agent and was driving out to, you know, La while I was living in Long beach and doing this back and forth. And then another play came around at the university, at the not university, at the community college. I auditioned for that. I got that, and then I booked my first commercial. And I really started working as a paid actor. And I kind of had just told my parents, I am going to do acting full time and I'm not going to go to school because what's happening is I'm getting these auditions, and either I have a class and I'm going to ditch the class or I'm going to not go to the audition, which is what I really want to do because I want to do acting. I want to be an actress. So either way, one or the other, I'm going to fail at if not both and probably both because, you know, you can't at that time. And this was, you know, I was probably 19, I realized that you can't really divide your attention and succeed to the extent that you would want to. And so my dad basically gave me, in some ways, an ultimatum. I know that he meant well, but he said, look, we're paying for your lifestyle. You don't have to worry about buying your clothes and going and doing things. We'll help take care of you. As long as you continue college, we'll pay for your college. You don't even have to go to university if you don't want to right now, get your associate's degree, do a transfer, laying out the potential path that I could have and telling me, if you do this, we'll help you for the next four or five years, and then you could always go do acting after that. He said, but if you do what you're wanting to do, which is go and be an actress, that is an extremely difficult path. There's probably majority of your experience is going to be heartbreak, and we don't want to see that for you. So, you know, I hate to put it this way, but you're on your own. And I didn't think twice. I was like, okay, then I guess I'm on my own. And, you know, for a 19, like, when I think back, standing where I am right now in my shop, and I think back to that 19 year old decision and, you know, it could have even 18. I don't remember the age that I was. But anyway, I was young. And I think back to that decision and I think back to how, you know, I really did give it a few. I gave it to two semesters at the community college, and I, and I tried to do both. I tried to make myself happy and to make my family happy, and I realized that that was probably going to be impossible in my life. And I'm like, getting emotional. But, yeah, you know, the realization that that really each person has their own journey to fulfill. Each person has each of us is born with a certain sort of. I mean, with a certain soul, with a certain characteristics. Obviously, a lot of that can also be, you know, societally like, you can grow as a person, and your character can build based on, you know, your. Your family and your upbringing, your surroundings, your friends, all of those things. Nature versus nurture. But, you know, anyone who's seen an infant, you know, the first, like, couple of years of a human being becoming the little talking person that then grows into a child and an adult and everything, you recognize that even infants have their own unique, special something, and each of them are very. And it's very defined in some ways. You know, I think about my, my niece and my two nephews from infancy, and, you know, and I think, like, from that point, really, I mean, you, you have to be, you know, nurtured and, and obviously, like, again, what I was saying, nature versus nurture. You know, like being around your, your parents, your siblings, whoever it is that is in close proximity to you as you're. As you're developing as a human or as a person with a personality. The hope is that those people that are around you are lifting you up and guiding you in a great way that will help you as the soul being that you are, help that part of you flourish and guide you, you know? But that's not always the case because each person, like I said not too long ago, each person has their own path, and each person has their own journey. And maybe your parents is your parents journey was maybe in some way opposed to your journey, or maybe they don't understand your journey because, you know, who can really put themselves in your place because, you know, if they're not like you, they don't understand you, then it is what it is. But I think that I had always sort of, even as a child, I had had this understanding that I was different than the people that I was around or that were around me. I didn't think the same as my mom. My mom is a very logical person. You know, you take care of your responsibilities, and she had a. She had a child, of course. So she was a very good mom, very strong woman. You take care of your responsibilities. You get up early, you go to work, and you're not late, you show up before everyone else, and you do these things. And I was more like, all right, I'm fun and doing this thing, and I'm doing over this here. And I'm creative, and I loved dance growing up, and I loved singing, and I loved being around friends and adventure and all of these sort of what a lot of people would think of as irresponsible activities. And so I think that when just pulling it back to rising out of the ashes at 1819, I think that when I was given that ultimatum, choose our way or your way, there was no doubt in my mind that I had to choose my way, because I also recognized that, because at the time, I believed that I was shy, even though I'm, like, saying all of. Seems like I'm saying all of the opposites. You know, I was outgoing and all of these things, but I believed that I was shy. And there were a number of other things that I like, I kind of struggled with as, like, my identity. What was my identity? And I think that the definitive answer for me to say I have to choose my path was that I knew if I didn't choose my path, that I would never be happy in life and I would never be able to discover, really why I was born or what I was put here on this earth for, you know? And I. And I saw another thing. I totally believe each of us has a purpose. Yeah.
[14:58] Valerie: Yeah.
[14:59] Brandi: Beautiful.
[15:00] Valerie: I mean, I resonate with so much of what you said, and I can see why you resonate with the alchemist as well. You know, that the beginning of that journey where you have to kind of choose what has been laid out for you or what your soul is calling you to do. I want to ask a very deep question. So there's kind of this saying of you being in the world, but not of it. Right. And I think for some of us, this becomes a very obvious distinction where we are brought up in a certain culture, and there is a, like, a clash that goes on between what our culture says we should do, what our upbringing says we should do, and what our soul is calling us to do. Some of. Some of us just live within the confines of culture for our entire lives. Right. And so this experience only really comes to people who are open to it or, like, kind of fall into it because they were maybe life, like, smack them over the head or something.
[16:00] Brandi: Yeah.
[16:02] Valerie: And you said you've always felt different. What were kind of some of the signs when you were smaller? Do you have any precise memories of, like, oh, this person is saying this, and it's really interesting, but I don't know if it's actually true.
[16:18] Brandi: Oh, gosh. Yeah. So I feel like. I mean, one that comes to mind is, I remember in middle school, junior high, I remember sitting and talking with a group of girls during lunchtime, and the group of girls was. They were all talking about another group of girls, as people do a lot of times, like, in. Throughout life. But you start really seeing when the hormones kick in and we're in our teen years, there's the different groups of people who are not like the other groups. And so there's the pairing up and then the gossip and the bad mouthing of the other groups that are not like you or not like the group that you're in. So I was sitting there talking, you know, like, I was just kind of in this group. We were all standing in a circle, and. And they were all, you know, sort of talking about the girls that were in this other group. And I was kind of, like, looking over at the other group, and I'm like, oh, I have friends over in the other group. Like, and this whole group is talking about them, and I don't really want to say anything because, man, that makes me feel bad, like, talking about the other group, you know, like, as if one girl in that other group represented the entire group. So I was just kind of sitting there and, like, listening and, like, feeling uncomfortable. Then I was like, okay, well, maybe I'll just go over to the other group, because I'm like, you know, obviously I, like, have friends over there, even though I have friends here, but I just don't want to be part of this, you know, this gossip. So I went over to the other group, and lo and behold, the other group was doing the exact same thing. They were talking about the girls in the group that I was just standing in, and. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. It was this weird. I think I probably must have been, like, 14 or 15. And there was this weird out of body experience that I had. Okay, like, standing there, recognizing what's going on, where I kind of was like, whoa, I don't feel like I belong in either of these groups, even though I had friends in both groups, people that I like in from both groups, people that I would go and do things with, but I just, like, it was just this moment of, I don't fit in. I don't believe what they're saying. I don't like how they're talking. I don't want to be part of this. And then I kind of. I don't even remember what I did after that because I was just, like. It was sort of like this out of body where I was just, like, recognizing almost, like, standing out from, you know, from the outskirts, looking at everything as an outsider. But I also recognize that, well, if I am just standing on the outskirts. As an outsider, I'm going to be by myself at school. I'm not going to have friends, or maybe I'll just talk to the friends here and the friends there, but then I'm not going to have anybody to hang out with during lunchtime. So I realized, really, that I just was in the mix of life happening, of things that I didn't feel that I really belonged to. And that was also, it wasn't just, like, two groups of friends. It was also because I was in theater, so I was in theater class, so I had my theater friends. I was also in band. I played the flute.
[19:50] Valerie: Me, too.
[19:51] Brandi: You did? Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. I was in band, played the flute, which is a whole other group of friends. And then I was in cheerleading. Outside of school, I was in cheerleading. So that was, like, the two groups of friends that I was talking about initially, those were from, like, cheer groups. You know, I was also in song on in cheerleading. So there's the regular, like, cheer squad, then there's the song, the dancers, and then there were the flags, flag girls, and so, like, all of those are all unique groups. And I think it was just, like, all of these kind of realizations happening at the same time that I am, you know, in my, like, early teen years and recognizing that I, you know, it's. I love having friends in all of these different places. I love all of the people that, you know, I am friends with in all of these different groups. And how am I, who really seems to be the only one? Like, not to say that I was the only one, but I felt like I was the only one who was going from group to group and being totally happy having friends in all of them and loving all of the groups that I was a part of. And, yeah. Just kind of having that realization, like, I. I don't know, like, how I'm going to get through life if this. If this is the way, like, if everyone groups up and you kind of have to be in your, in your group, you have to, your identity has to identify with all of the people in this one group that you're a part of. I didn't see myself that way. I didn't see my life that way. I identified with all of them.
[21:47] Valerie: Yeah.
[21:48] Brandi: And it's interesting because even as I'm saying this out loud, which a lot of what I do is internalized, so it's just self talk, but saying this out loud, it's so fascinating to kind of realize this is also why I've had such an irritation with niche the idea of niche or, like, you have to be a part of a specific identity, because I never have been. I've never felt like I've been part of only one identity.
[22:26] Valerie: Well, you know, what I do is I just kind of float in and out of them whenever it's convenient for me because everyone expects me to. Right. But I just am not attached to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[22:38] Brandi: Well, and I mean, even part of, like, if I'm going back, you know, like, even growing up before my teens, perhaps one of the reasons why, if I'm digging into it, one of the reasons why I don't associate with myself as, like, one identity is that I. My biological dad is Hawaiian. Well, I now know Hawaiian and Filipino, which I didn't realize. I didn't know Filipino most of my life, but I knew my hawaiian grandmother, so I identified Hawaiian. My mom is caucasian, and my stepdad, who raised me from the age of three, is Hispanic. So I grew up, you know, in. And then. And then also in on my mom's side, some of my relatives are jewish. And so, like, every Christmas, we would celebrate Hanukkah with the family members that are jewish, and they would teach us about, you know, Judaism and, you know, so, like, I. From a very, very, very young age, from the time that I can remember knowing anything, my identification was that all of these groups, all of these family members are me. I am them. And that I didn't understand why, you know, you had to pick and choose.
[24:02] Valerie: Yeah.
[24:02] Brandi: So I think, like, if I'm, you know, again, kind of going deeper into this revelation that I had at 15 ish of, like, I don't fit in anywhere, but yet I fit in everywhere, it really also goes back to just my understanding of family.
[24:21] Valerie: So as someone who also has the same feeling of fitting in nowhere and then fitting in everywhere, I understand that this has a very unique set of challenges throughout life. It presents a unique set of challenges. I've. Because I'm like, I'm chinese american, american born chinese, and I look asian. Spent the first ten years of my life in a predominantly white neighborhood, and then all of a sudden moved to, like, a predominantly non white neighborhood, mostly asian and mixed, and then just feeling like, well, and everyone was being like, oh, we're the cool Asians. I was like, what does that even mean? And then later on, moving to Japan, I would look like everyone, but definitely was not one. Right. But I've always managed, just through mannerism, to be able to adapt and find my way into belonging to those groups, at least temporarily. Yeah, but, you know, I've always had this challenge, too, of feeling like at the end of it, like there was always something missing. Like I was still not enough to be really part of things. So what kind of challenges have you come up against with that type of being able to adapt and flow with identity?
[25:47] Brandi: Adapt and flow with identity? I think. I think it was really more for me about interpersonal relations as opposed to group mentality. So I guess, like, an example of that would be. Even an example of that would be group mentality in, you know, in that situation that I shared a second ago about, you know, as a teenager, like, standing in a group and feeling like I don't. Not just that I didn't identify or I didn't agree, but I didn't like the group mentality that was happening at that time. And so I took myself out of it because I didn't want to change who I was or what I believed in because I was in that group. You know, the group that was talking about the other group where I had friends in the other group. So I. I just removed myself from the situation. So that, I'd say, is one of the ways that I have, like, learned to just. That's that I guess that's not really adaptation because adaptation is at least the way that I look at it, adaptation is you're in the group, they're talking about the other group. You know that it's wrong. You know that the other group are your friends, and yet you talk **** about them anyway. Excuse my language, but, you know, like, that's what it was called. You know, like, you're still talking negatively about somebody, about a group of people who. Some of whom you are friends with and identify with, but maybe you're not specifically talking about the one person who's your friend, but if you're talking about the group and you don't believe that that's the right thing to do, then that is apt adaptation in my mind. So I'd say that instead of adapting, I try to either avoid or kind of go around or just stay quiet, which is also unlike me because I'm usually pretty vocal. So if I'm. And I'm having these realization. The realization of what I'm about to say is happening as I'm talking. So you're getting the real. The real look at how I self talk because the quiet, the reducing myself as, like, the person who would be social reducing myself and being quiet and, like, kind of closing up. And I know that we're not on video, but like the hand, the gestures that I'm doing and the body movements that I'm doing, as you can see, are, you know, to recoil, sort of like tucking my hands in and, you know, almost like standing fetal position. That is sort of what I do. That's my adjustment. Just, I don't want to. I don't want to necessarily go against my values, but I may not. I just may not speak or I may not, you know, have a voice in that forum. And that's also kind of sad to think about. It's unfortunate that someone who perhaps has a voice or something to say or. And not like, something negative. But, you know, maybe in those situations, had I felt more comfortable to say, hey, don't you have friends in that group? You know, like, I have friends in that group. Why are we sitting here talking about them? Something as simple as that could have been said. Now, at 15, I wasn't thinking, you know, like, quite that bold. But even today, I'm sure plenty of people get themselves into situations where they're surrounded by a group of people who are saying things that they are not feeling comfortable with or they don't identify with, and they don't just say, hey, why are you saying that? What is it giving to you to say something negatively about somebody else? And I'm not saying that I'm perfect. Like, I'm not saying that I've never talked about, you know, someone negatively before, because obviously, I would like to think that I'm not the only one, you know, like, that there are other people who've, you know, made that. That poor choice. But. But it's really that in those certain. Certain situations, certain circumstances where I would kind of quiet myself, quiet my voice because I felt uncomfortable with a situation that I didn't feel like I belonged in, instead of vocalizing my discontent or even my questioning, I would just shut down.
[30:55] Valerie: So I want to go back to this recoiling. Right. The fetal position thing. And this is really important because I think a lot of us don't realize how unconscious beliefs shape our behavior. And even as someone who is an artist or an actress, right. When you were younger and you had that power and you had that voice and you declared to your parents that you're going to stick up for yourself, there have probably been later on, as you got older, there is a tendency to do the shrinking of the power you had when you were younger. Yeah, I went. I went through that myself when I gave up dancing. And I. Because I burnt out and, like, that confidence just shrunk. So small. And for years, I didn't think that I had anything worth saying, and I didn't think that I could stand up for other people. And it was not until recently where I had realizations that brought me back to my power. And, like, consciously was like, oh, I can have a voice. So have you gone through that same shrinking as well? And when did you realize that you were no longer stepping into your power the way that you were before?
[32:15] Brandi: So it's interesting, this part of the conversation, what you just brought up, the question and the scenario, it brought up the alchemist again, because that's what the alchemist talks about, is, as children, we know what our purpose is, or we know what we're meant to do. And then the older we get, the more really, like, society or our surroundings. Our environment and our responsibilities take us to a point where we either forget what our purpose was, we forget what we knew as children, or we just decide that those were childlike fantasies and not something that we can or should pursue as an adult, because that's not an adult way of behaving. That's not an adult, you know, responsible person's way of being in life. So that's, that's one of the things that I loved about the alchemist. So I guess other ways that I've, like, recoil, other times that I've recoiled. I mean, I think it's, you know, I think it's a constant struggle. It's funny because I had somebody ask me once, or kind of bring up once to me, so you've been an actress. After I left acting, I decided to go back to school and, or actually, I decided to go back to school and then left acting because I realized I couldn't do both at the same time. So that's like a whole other story. So really, like, kind of going back to the, you know, the ultimatum, I kind of gave myself this decision and then went back to school, got my bachelor's degree, and then went into journalism, which brings me back to what I had brought up earlier, which was that first couple of semesters in college at the age of 1819, was journalism was one of my classes. Anyway, through those years and even beyond, up until today, I feel like there's sort of, oh, sorry. Rewind. I didn't want to go off on a different tangent. So somebody had said to me, once you've been an actress, which, you know, is a challenge, but it's sort of like something that a lot of people think of as, like, in the limelight, you've been a journalist, which is a challenge. You know, it's freelance. You kind of have to constantly find your jobs. And, and it's also something that, you know, you get a byline. So people kind of see it as in the limelight. And this is also before, well, before I had opened my business. But they said, you know, you've been an actress, you've been a journalist. It's interesting that you've chosen career paths. That one you are, there's, like, a constant potential for rejection. Constant potential for rejection and a constant potential for recognition. And I was, like, kind of taken aback by this statement kind of question. I'm like, is that a question? Like what? You know, first of all, like, why are you bringing that up? That's really weird. I, you know, never would have, I didn't think of acting as, first of all, no one gets into acting because they want to be rejected. Like, no way. So I definitely didn't think of it in that way, and I didn't think of writing in that way. But it did give me the, you know, a pause to, like, think about, like, why did I, why do I, even starting a business, go after goals that are, like, you know, majority of people fail at? And interestingly enough, you know, from, again, going back to even from the time I was a child, like, I had big dreams. I had, I had goals. I had, like, these, like, literally dreams. Like, I would dream about my future. And I wholeheartedly believed that I could do all of the things that I've done. Hundred percent believed that I could do the things that I've done. If I didn't believe that, I would not have, at the age of 18 or 19, been able to tell my dad, I'm doing what I want to do. I'm, you know, you don't need to take care of me. I'll take care of myself. I left acting because I wanted to. Well, a number of reasons. I had some illnesses in the family and I wanted to take care of my family members, but I decided to go back to school and I thought that I would be able to continue acting. But then, same kind of thing that happened, you know, twelve years ago, twelve years prior to that, I was auditioning and then I had classes, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, there's no way I'm going to be able to do both. I have to decide, is this my era of going to school and getting the education that I wanted and trying to get into UCLA, which was my dream from childhood, or do I continue to do the acting that I've been doing and that I love doing, and I chose the other path. So I think that the recoiling and the finding my voice or the. It's a constant. It's a constant where there are moments where I feel like, am I making the right decision? Am I, you know, did I make the right decision back then? Should I have, like, just taken my dad's offer and, like, gotten everything paid for and. And still on the side, tried to. Tried to audition, you know, like, maybe not tell them about it or something? Should I have done that? Of course. Like, these questions come into mind. Of course. You know, like, I wonder what would have happened had I made different choices in life. And at those moments where I'm questioning myself or questioning my choices, I'm recoiling within. I'm, like, thinking, you know, like, I'm not sure that maybe I always was just this dreamer that everybody said I was. And maybe, you know, maybe I was never meant to do all of these things. I just went after them and somehow they happened. So, to me, those are my fearful, sort of recoiling moments. Those are the moments where I'm like, I don't know. I don't know if I should do this. I don't know what's next. I don't know if I'm capable. I don't know if I'm talented enough. Sometimes I don't think I'm smart enough, you know, like, I go through those questions. Yeah. And then some inner voice happens. I pray and I meditate. I meditate on the prayer. And a calm comes from that. And, you know, and occasionally I'll have a friend or a relative or some loved one who knows me and knows the path that I've, you know, the journey that I've taken. Sometimes I have them say, like, hey, look at everything you've done. How can you say this? How can you question yourself, you know? And then I lift myself up out of the ashes, and I'm like, okay. I just have to keep going. I just have to find my voice because it's there. I just occasionally lose it again, you know? Or I occasionally. I'm not sure of myself. And that's okay. I think that that's okay.
[40:58] Valerie: What would be the longest you've ever been in a slump, would you say?
[41:05] Brandi: Well, define slump.
[41:10] Valerie: So those periods of self doubt, maybe burnout. Maybe. Maybe depression, anxiety, where it's just like, you seem like I'm talking from personal experience, where you just don't feel empowered.
[41:27] Brandi: Interestingly enough, I. When I was working corporate, quote, unquote, corporate job. You know, the general nine to five sort of go into an office, that kind of thing. Even though the corporate jobs that I've had are creatively based. And I enjoyed the jobs themselves. But the scenario of going into an office, the same office, same desk, day in, day out, sitting around the same people constantly. And I say it with, like, this droll kind of in my voice, like, monotonous. Everything's the same. You know, it's like you're constantly having, you know, what is it? The matrix. When he sees the cat and he's like, he's like, I just saw that.
[42:22] Valerie: Like, the deja vu.
[42:23] Brandi: I'm having deja vu. You know, like, it's like day in, day out. I'd say that those times, those office jobs were, they gave me the longest sort of, you know, time period of questioning or doubting. Now, not to say that, like, if I was in a job for three years, like, for a whole three years, day in, day out, morning to evening, I was, you know, depressed. No, that's not, that's not the truth. But, but it also goes back to what I'm saying about, about always kind of questioning or always, like, there's always that challenge of, of recoiling or losing my voice because, you know, like, I'm constantly looking inward and constantly looking at where I'm at in life. Like, what am I dealing with today? And is this where I want to be? And if I die tomorrow, will I have died? If I died and I knew that I was dying, I knew that I died, would I look back at everything that I've done up until that point and said, I've lived a good life, you know? Yeah, well, and there's a lot to unravel with that. That's a whole other conversation. But, but I'm just always, like, you know, like, checking myself, always checking myself on these, on these things. And. But, yeah, through those, those years, I, even though I was doing creative work, I just didn't feel like I was living my purpose now. I didn't feel like I was living my purpose in that moment. Like, perhaps the way that I did when I was, you know, actually acting, when I was actually, like, doing the acting thing or being a business owner. But I also believe that the work that I did for the companies that I had worked for were very much part of my journey. And that everything that, like, the journalism, the acting, helped me move into communications production. All of the things that I did in the corporate world, all of the things that I learned in production and, like, you know, managing major, major campaigns and all of these things helped me with building a business. So it's, you know, it's interesting because, like, while I was in that moment of working in those nine to fives, working in that corporate world, I felt like I was, like, suffocating. But then when I look back, I'm like, wow, you know, really, I learned a lot. And, you know, and I. And I also recognized it at the time. Like, when I was doing. I was creating, producing a magazine, like, every day when I was producing that magazine. Now, granted, that particular campaign, that particular experience was very different from a lot of the other things that I had done for the same company. So every moment that I was working on that campaign, that I was, or working on the magazine, developing everything, it was, like, very much me doing it. So I was, like, hands on leading the thing. So it felt like I was thriving and I was doing something because it was, like, my ideas and my, you know, my strategies and my, you know, like, I mean, I got feedback and input from other people and definitely was not. Wouldn't have been able to have done the entire thing by myself, but because I was able to use my mind and my skills and my creativity and all of the things that I love to do, which kind of made it adventurous and. And not, like, monotonous. That probably was the one time that I didn't feel like that. I didn't feel that I was suffocating, but, yeah.
[47:01] Valerie: Okay, let's bring it around to the Wellest. What conviction did you have that made you want to lean into starting this business?
[47:16] Brandi: And so I'm going to go back real quick, because the funny thing is that I had a friend after I started the business. I have a friend who we were best friends through growing up. And she had said to me, she's like, do you remember when we were teenagers and maybe in high school or something? And she goes, you said to me, when we graduate high school, let's move to New York and start a business? And I said, really? I did? She's like, yeah. You don't remember that? Oh, my gosh. She's like, yeah, you, like, wanted us to go. You were, like, trying to figure out businesses that we could start, and, like, you just wanted to take off and go, move to New York. And I was like, interestingly enough, I don't remember that. I do remember at one point thinking that I wanted to move to Hawaii and, like, start a b and b or something. But she goes, no, I don't remember that. She goes, but I do remember New York. So anyway, we had this conversation, and I was like, I didn't remember that my young self wanted to be a business owner. It wasn't really something that I had taken throughout my adult life and all of the different careers that I had and that journey that I've talked about, I didn't remember really until, you know, probably right around the time that I had come up with the idea for the business, that being a business owner was something that I was interested in or had been interested in at a young age. And so I'm getting into the catalyst thing, because I had also always seen myself as, like, I had friends whose parents were business owners, and I always thought, oh, how cool their parents are. They own this flower shop, or they own this yogurt shop, or they own, oh, how fun. So neat. Well, my parents, like I had mentioned, they were consistent, hardworking, nine to fivers for the most part. But I had totally not put this into my mind throughout my childhood. Like, this was not. And I'll tell you what I'm talking about in a second. This was not at all what I thought was my life and my parents lives until the moment that I had decided to start a business. But my parents, both of them, basically had side hustles my entire childhood. My mom was, she sold Avon on the side, and she made really good extra money, extra income from selling Avon. To me, that wasn't really a side hustle. It was just like, eh, you're selling, you know, I don't know. I don't know what I thought of it. Thought it was, but it didn't to me, sound like a business owner. You know, my dad would. He did tons of different odd jobs. He was a painter on the weekends sometimes, like, for a good time, like he had a business card, he would, you know, go and paint people's houses on the side. He was a roofer. A friend of his had a roofing business and lost his employee. And my dad went and started working with him and helped him do that on the sides that are on the weekends that he didn't have paint jobs. He also would find inventory, like, that was being discarded from warehouses, and he'd do garage sales. Like, so from a child's perspective, a young, young person's like a garage sale. You're just, whatever. I don't even know where you're getting this stuff from. And you're just like, having a garage sale like everyone else down the street. But no, it was a legitimate business. He did so many things as, like, these side hustles. He always had something going on, and I didn't ever see those as really as even inspirations to me. Like, I just kind of saw my parents as these nine to fivers until I came up with this idea to have a. To do this business. And then it all kind of hit me that, like, whoa, I really actually have been around this all my life. And my parents really did their side hustles because they had kids to raise, and the jobs that they had were not paying what they wanted, what they needed. So they were doing the side hustles to make ends meet and to make sure that they could pay for my cheerleading and they can pay for the things, the extra stuff that I wanted to do and trips and all of those things. So I'd say, like, that was kind of my. Maybe not my catalyst, but that was my realization that I had been inspired by them in that way that I had never recognized before, but all of my life. And the catalyst ended up being something very outside of myself. I was taking a class in animal and plant taxonomy and conservation, and I learned about the demise of orangutans because of the palm oil trade, and that there were, like, I don't have the number, but tens of thousands of orangutans that were dying in the wild. And I was working for a nonprofit at the time that was meant to help the conservation efforts of wildlife. So I had been able to spend some time and photograph orangutans in a zoo, but at least spend some time really looking into their eyes and really getting a feel for and seeing them regularly, I'm getting a feel for, like, just who they are as creatures. And they are some of the most amazing, like, intelligent in just looking in their eyes, intelligence and sweet and loving and feeling like they're humanistic in some ways. And so when I'm in this class and I'm learning that there are so many that are dying, and they're. Because they have their. Their nests are up in palm trees, in the top of palm trees. That's where they put their nests, and then that's where they live. And then the palm trees get cut down and fall over, and of course they die. That was just devastating to me. The thought that these innocent creatures not harming anybody, not doing anything, just raising their families, are just being decimated. I just started bawling tears in my class, and then on my way home was, like, crying all the way home. And I was like, I don't know what I have to do, but I have to do something. I mean, I probably not going to go to the other side of the world to try to save them, stop people from chopping down trees. That's not my way. But I felt like I had to do something to, I don't know, to raise awareness or to educate or to, you know. And then I thought, okay, well, how am I supposed to educate? I really don't even know anything about this. I literally just learned it in a class. So it just, you know, that was like, the inkling of, like, something that I have to do. I need, my purpose has to be about something that's greater than myself. And then I had a number of other issues that were, like, health issues that were happening with me at the time and things with my skin and things with my sugar intake and a number of foods and beverages and stuff. So all of these things combined that happened sort of all within a relatively short amount of time, gave me the. The idea to just start. Really start looking into ingredients. And then I learned about the ingredients that are in skincare products and our foods, of course, and our home cleaning products and, you know, even in, like, fabric and all of these things. And I was like, mind blowing realization that, like, oh, my gosh, we're basically not only killing innocent creatures across the globe, but we are. And brands, whether or not knowingly or unknowingly are killing people. You know, like, that's. I mean, say it in a very harsh way. Like, we're putting toxins in products that people are eating and people are putting on their skin and that are absorbing into their skin and nobody's saying anything about this. What the heck? What is going on? And why does nobody care? I'm sitting here crying for hours over orangutans across the world, and nobody seems to care about humans that are dying from cancers and that we don't know where they're coming from or that are suffering with diabetes. My grandmother and a number of my family members suffered from diabetes. I had family members that died from diabetes. And yet sugars are in everything. All of these things that I just had this epiphany that it's like, nobody gives a **** about anybody else. And obviously that's broad statement and that's not true, that nobody gives a **** about anybody. But that's how I felt at that moment. And I felt like I at least needed to do something to make a difference. And even if it's just in some small way to. Even if it's just like, understanding what's going on so I can get my parents to use something different, you know, like whatever the, whatever the way that I can do, like to just hopefully improve or I don't know, change someone's life for the better. That's what I felt like I needed to do. So that was my catalyst. I had the background and the realization that I was inspired by my parents in some ways and that I had from a young age this interest in being a business owner. But then the catalyst, the thing that, like, brought those things to life, those childhood things to life was, you know, the experiences that I had. And then also, like, at the time I was reading Tim Ferriss four hour workweek. Now, you know, to be fair, I didn't necessarily think that I could just do a four hour workweek because I was, like, listening to that book and going, man, I like, he's like, oh, I do my 4 hours and then I'd be done and I'd be off doing fun things. I'm like, man, I don't think I could do that because I definitely, oh, so where was I? Tim Ferriss. So, yeah, so Tim Ferriss book, the four hour workweek, he talks about working for 4 hours and then just taking off and like, or just like being at the office. I think he was mentioned. Like, he was at the office and his boss was like, what are you doing? You know, he's like, well, I finished my work already. Well, like, I've never been the kind of person who, like, even in a nine to five, like, the five hour cutoff is here and I'm done. Like, I'm going home. I was only supposed to be here until five, or I'm only supposed to work until five and I'm done. Like, that is really hard for me to do. Really hard for me to do. So even reading that book, I was like, okay, I know I'm not going to be able to do the 4 hours of work every week, but it also helped me sort of think about things differently when I was thinking about kind of coming up with this, this business idea because of the catalyst and because of my inspirations and listening to Tim Ferriss book that I realized I'm just not looking at things. Like, I'm kind of, I'm looking at things with blinders on. Like looking at, sorry, looking at my, my work life, my or my current career with blinders on. I'm not opening my horizons to other possibilities. I'm just kind of like, okay, I'm now in this corporate structure and this is probably going to be my life, and this is what I'm going to do. And I don't know. I don't know what else. And then that book came along and I was like, whoa, interesting. Like, I never would have thought of things in that way. So that also kind of helped me get out of, like, the train of thought that you have to do things, you know, when you're, when you're a careerist or, like, a, you know, whether or not it's marketing or I was doing at the time, I was doing, like, communications and digital management websites, all of that kind of stuff that I, you know, kind of realized, okay, like, I don't just have to sit in an office and work, you know, for one company and do all of that. So it kind of just gave me a different way of looking at life in that way. Yeah.
[01:01:45] Valerie: Great. All right, so we do have to wrap up, but let's wrap up with a fun question. So if you were to be able to give your younger self any piece of advice, what would it be?
[01:02:01] Brandi: Hmm, it's interesting. I had someone ask me this before they were doing a survey. I was at south by southwest and at, like, some party, and someone was walking around with a clipboard and asking everybody this question. And it's funny, I don't remember what my answer was, but my answer was, like, the opposite of what the girl, the girl who was doing the survey, it was the opposite of what she would have told her younger self. I think now I would probably say, yeah, don't worry so much. Don't worry so much. Don't beat yourself up over things. You know, just keep moving. Just. Or just keep going. You know, it's going to be okay. Actually, I would probably tell myself that yesterday.
[01:02:53] Valerie: Yeah.
[01:02:54] Brandi: Not just my young self, like, you know, I mean, every day, life is a challenge. You know, it's a challenge. And you don't know from one point to the next whatever you're going to, what's going to happen. Illnesses can happen with your loved ones, and that just sweeps the rug right out from under your feet or something amazing, like you could win the lottery, and that just changes your whole trajectory. You have no idea from one day to the next, from one moment to the next what's going to happen. So just to try to reduce your amount of worry about what's happening or what's going to happen and just keep moving, keep going. Keep trying to be your best self and live the best life that you can at any given moment and spend as much time as you can. With, with your loved ones and, you know, just relax.
[01:04:08] Valerie: Amazing.
[01:04:10] Brandi: All right.
[01:04:10] Valerie: Thank you, Brandy. That was a really great conversation. I'm sure we could talk about other stuff for hours, but it will save it for another time. Yeah. Yeah. It was really good to have you. Thank you.
[01:04:21] Brandi: Thank you so much. I really loved all of your questions, too. They were thought provoking, so I appreciate that.
[01:04:29] Valerie: Thanks.
[01:04:30] Brandi: All right. Okay.
[01:04:32] Valerie: If you'd like to find more about Brandy and her store, the wellest and bar non in Long Beach, California, feel free to visit www.thewellistlife.com or on Instagram at thewellestlife. Hope you enjoyed this episode and we will see you next time.
